Coping with Childhood Trauma-Related PTSD

Honestly, there are days that feel like an endless, hopeless void and even distraction doesn't work because anything I try to do suddenly feels hateful or somehow related. The only thing that helps is reaching out to anyone. Preferably someone who can be physically present and comforting. But literally just having someone to talk to who responds (even if it's just a nod or a few "mhmm"s). It kind of feels like if I don't say it then it's stuck and it takes over everything, but when I say it out loud I can remember I'm present and it's not like that anymore I guess