Coping with Changes in My Body: A Journey to Self-Love

Hi, don’t know if you (or anyone else out there) has struggled with this as well, but I was anorexic in my teen years (about 10 years ago) and not only did i not notice my own body dysmorphia at the time (which still scares me looking back) i have this theory that it caused my IBS because i wasnt eating enough and then starting trying to eat more and more once I was diagnosed and snapped back to reality and realized I was harming myself without knowing… my point being that being aware of yourself and your health is important and also not letting doctor put all sorts of meds in your body that you’re not ok with - it’s ok to question these things. I took every IBS medication on the market when i was diagnosed and i think that made everything worse b/c they ALL have side effects, whether it be depression, constipation, mood swings, you name it. The holistic approach, I’ve found, is much more compatible with the body and while it takes more time, it’s worth it. Be well 💕

first of all, ignore everyone who makes a comment about your body because they're "concerned for your health" because they actually aren't, they're just weird and controlling. The next step is to remember no one actually has much control over their weight, and if you are the healthiest you've ever been, then your body is doing what it's supposed do and you look the way you do on purpose. bodies don't gain or lose anything without reason. I gained 150lbs after starting two meds that cause weight gain, I use a wheelchair 98% of the time, and I've got t*ts for days and cake to match. Body neutrality is where it's at, idc what my body looks like or what I need to do/use to help my body function a little better, because I would do the same things for a friend. Your body is just a permanent roommate, and nothing stays the same forever in ANY roommate situation

I'll be honest, every single day, I wish this body WASN'T mine

Not leaping towards "self-love" and instead focusing on just simple "self-okayness" has helped ease the pressure of feeling like I need to love myself.

I try to practice body neutrality instead of body positivity

i think the fact that ive believed this body wasn't mine from the get-go, for spiritual reasons, has helped, but i will admit that most of my physical health issues started after i ritually accepted it too. not concretely related but sometimes i wonder haha. other than that, experiencing some strange dysphoria and dysmorphia helped me come to terms with it too? in their own ways. this body will never be able to be what i want it to be, never be able to do what i want it to do, because it's a human body and those aren't designed for what i'd like of a body. so i see it even now as more of a vessel i inhabit... one i can customise with hair dye, makeup, tattoos, costumes, and hopefully more someday, but still not "me" you know? me is something more than just electricity moving around some meat. me is an entity, my body is my ship. it very well may be the only one i ever get, so taking care of it is important and makes existing less bad, but it's still just where i live at the end of the day. there's an aesthetic called "cripplepunk" (with the intent of reclaiming the word) and the basic ideals of that are something i like to play with. i'm not a great punk but it's nice to embrace the "my body is MINE and you can't tell me how 'healthy' looks for me". that helps too. it's kind of in line with radical self-acceptance. i also think it's important to let yourself hate your body a bit. you can be mad at it. you can be frustrated and confused and distressed by it. don't take that anger out on it, forgive it for its problems, but letting yourself feel those negative things about it is just as important as accepting and loving your body. trying to deny yourself those feelings can just make them worse after all. i think a lot of people forget that when they try and practice self-acceptance and self-love