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OleanderBunnies

879d

What do you do when it feels like your Agoraphobia has won? The pandemic hit me like a bus. The state of the world health wise and also politically terrifies me so much it’s hard to go outside. I no longer speak to mutuals I know in person because I’m afraid of being hurt by them. I’m afraid that my DID wont be accepted by them, a tough disorder to work around unfortunately. I don’t go to work, I dont have work friends because I draw on commission. We moved to the country to try and help my social anxiety, but my mum moved us out so far it takes at least an hour to go to any family’s house, and I can no longer see my therapist in person because the drive is too far. We zoom sometimes. I only have 1 in person friend who I cant see often because he’s very immunocompromised. So most of my socialising has been online. Recently people on social media have been so angry and so violent and so harassing about things, I stopped using it. And now I have no where to socialise. It’s just me, and 5 friends in a tiny little discord server. When they aren’t online, I have no one to talk to. The idea of going to a school or getting an outside job, both because of pandemic AND because of the people there is so terrifying I’ve put it off for 2 years now. I used to get severely bullied for everything when I was in school and I just don’t think I can handle it again. I really want to do all online school but, I’d still be socially isolated. I don’t know, things are just really daunting right now. I feel like my fear has frozen me in limbo and it makes me a burden on the people I do have in my life. I just want to know if there’s any hope of getting better. And if so, what’s the first step?

Top reply
    • OleanderBunnies

      873d

      Also thank you @ everyone for the kind words and understanding ;;; to everyone else in my family I’m lazy and burdensome and its been. really internalizing lately. If you guys want to reach out heres my discord too, maybe I can make an agoraphobe safe space server! hahaha. Cogito Ergo Sum#0233

    • OleanderBunnies

      873d

      Also thank you @ everyone for the kind words and understanding ;;; to everyone else in my family I’m lazy and burdensome and its been. really internalizing lately. If you guys want to reach out heres my discord too, maybe I can make an agoraphobe safe space server! hahaha. Cogito Ergo Sum#0233

    • OleanderBunnies

      873d

      @sprite I actually sent you a friend request, today! name UN on there is Cogito Ergo Sum#0233 I really appreciate the kind words, it means a lot ;;; especially about DID. It’s complicated, it’s like getting to know 30 people kind of when you get to know me. It’ll he nice to know someone who understands the same situation I’m going though, and hopefully we can pump each other up too 💪🏻

    • sprite

      874d

      i wish i knew the first step. i’m in a similar situation right now. i isolated myself from all of my friends the past five years or so and now i just have one, so any time she’s not around i feel lonely as hell. social media makes me really anxious (not because of the jerks but just because my social anxiety is so bad) so i never interact with anyone there either. i don’t work because of my mental illness and especially my anxiety, so i don’t have any coworkers either. and now it’s like a double whammy because even if i had the courage to start talking to someone, there’s covid to deal with. so i don’t have any advice because i’m right there with you, but you’re welcome to reach out to me if you’d like someone to talk to. i don’t have did so i can’t relate to that, but i can certainly promise that it will be accepted by me. i’m 25 if that matters to you and my discord is sprite#1143 :)

    • OleanderBunnies

      879d

      Ill try that, thank you. I’ve already been thinking I need to be medicated for other things too, my family “doesnt believe in mental health medications” so I’ve never actually been give meds for anything before and I think they would probably help me cope significantly better. pfft.

    • Tearex

      879d

      I just want to say it can get better. For me I've needed medications to better control my social anxiety, it's definitely not cured though. Before being put on meds this year I was getting panic attacks even in my own home. I know it's extremely hard to think about talking to a new professional but you might benefit from having a psychiatrist. You can ask your therapist about a referral to one.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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