Dealing with alcoholism in the family.... mine, my husbands, our adult children, my two dad's, his dad.... It is everywhere. And it makes for poor decisions! And heartaches. I'm sharing because I hope someone can see someone has it way worse than they do. And they can think of someone who truly loves them more than someone that doesn't. For me, it was living for my 3 children. Of which 1 is dead now. It was living for my mom whom I viewed as we don't get along very well. I know we love each other, we just don't see eye to eye. And it hurt. The above is true for my husband. It was living for my husband even tho we constantly fight. It was living for me. Because I count and matter to all my family. Even though I didn't feel like I did.
Look deep down and be honest with yourself to see the love of people around you. The love they have for YOU, even when it doesn't feel like they do. Those who have or had a brief encounter with you, even for a small moment. A stranger or someone you met in a casual setting and ran across several times. A moment that meant something to them and you didn't even realize it.
Even people on this page you have never met tell you they love you and you matter. Feeling the love they have for you as a human. You may think, they don't even know me.... but once I understood how sensitive I was, I understood people really care. Of course, there are some that don't. But forget them and focus on those that do. The compassion one human has for another without even knowing them is huge.
Give it time, things WILL change and you'll view things differently over time. That is the only thing we can count on in this life time.... is CHANGE.
The thought of ending my life was strong. And lasted several months. As I look back, it cropped up several time through out several years. I'm so very glad I wasn't successful!! My thoughts have changed!!
When a person dies, no matter how it happened, their suffering ends, but the suffering for so many people who were around them "Starts". I didn't want to be responsible for so much suffering even tho mine could ended 💔 ❤ 💞