How has your condition affected your sex life?
Chronic Generalized pain
Chronic Nausea and Vomiting
Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (CVS)
Chronic Memory Loss
Ischemic Heart Disease (IHD)
Never been lucky enough to be on a date. Being single, my whole life (41 yrs now) wondering if my disability has anything to do with it.
Have never been very active for as sex concerns
@Psalms me neither I think it's because of the way I was raised
Wellbutrin definitely helps my sex life. Probably made it better
@Gorilla Will you explain how?!? This makes me hopeful because I used to take Wellbutrin (wasn’t having sex then), and I may start it again!
@trademarkspoonie I can help with that as I'm also on Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin is a mild stimulant. While most medications (especially psychiatric ones) are, essentially, stabilisers that don't allow your mood to go too far up or down-Wellbutrin is a stimulant to just increase your dopamine uptake (also why it's occasionally used to treat mild cases of ADHD, a dopamine deficit disorder). But a stimulant doesn't really discriminate on what hormones are being increased. So it also increases your serotonin and oxytocin, plus gives you the energy depression was zapping from you.
I had problems in the beginning do 2 physical scaring and major nerve damage
@idontknow Stay calm, relaxed, and meditate to control your seizures more. The more worried or scared you get, the more chances of being unhealthy. Staying relaxed and meditating took awake my deja vus naturally. Google tips on neurofeedback as well as biofeedback.
Depending on my pain level or nausea I have no desire but when I feel decent I have drive
I've never had any in person contact, but when it comes down to it, I *would* feel embarrassed that if they wanted to do a certain position (ex. On top of them) I wouldn't be able to do it for very long because it would start to hurt, both my fibro and my sciatica. It keeps me from exploring for potential people to be intimate with (not right now bc of the pandemic of course!)
@chronicallyqueer Normal people are generally nice about letting you pick positions which really helped me! There are a lot of comfy positions that I've discovered don't involve to much work lol and if someone isn't working with you they suck! Definitely know your worth cause having a chronic condition and dating can be complicated and there's no room for a person gaslighting about whatever said condition you have. Good luck though!
Because of all my health problems I am just not desirable and with my progressive neuromuscular condition people just stay away. I got too much for people to even consider getting involved.
I have a high sex drive but my body takes forever to recover afterwards.
@ChakraGoddess OMG! same here
@ChakraGoddess Same here thanks fibromyalgia! Ugh
I just struggle wanting to have sex because
I know how I’m going to feel after. Hit by a semi comes to mind.
I've always had low sex drive. I had to look up sex headache, because sometimes I will get a migraine after sex.
Sometimes I am more achy the morning after.
@LOVELAKEMI I have had intense migraines from orgasming before.
I've never had an interest in sex so it hasn't been affected by meds.
I am just not interested. I don’t want to be around people when I get home from work. I have two cats. And sometimes they drive me nuts. I usually have my fill of people at work. So when I get home, I want to be alone and quiet.
I don’t have a sex life.
My sex life has completely vanished, I used to get horny and enjoy everything...now that doesn't exist. Hasn't for over a year
@Kittygirl2419 It takes me so long to want to even engage. It won't seemed like a chore for a while.
My boyfriend is very understanding. One time when we were having fun in the truck and he hit from a strange angle. It caused so much pain I couldn’t have sex or stretch or laugh for weeks without crying or vomiting. Usually my pain is bearable with pain medication but sometimes I just can’t do it. It’s good to find an understanding partner who will respect your boundaries and help you through the pain as much as possible.
I have endometriosis since high school but as it has worsened and since sex sends me into a fibro flair sex is carefully planned. Not fun and adventurous
My condition hasn't really affected my sex life but my husband's depression has been causing less and less sex.
It has somewhat been hindered. My sex drive is still there but my body physically sometimes doesn't allow me to engage in sex.
I gained a lot of weight. My husband lost interest
@Jeanette his loss I'm sure!! Mine threw me away when I was diagnosed with nsclc stage 4 bit again...his loss!! Hang in there Jeanette.
@michele55 My husband hasn’t touched me in two years. He makes all kinds of excuses, but I know it’s because of my new MS symptoms (inability to walk very far and do activities we once enjoyed like hiking) and my recent 40lb weight gain.
I’m just not the person he married physically. But, inside I am the same. And I miss touch.
@michele55 You don’t need a man :)
@Jeanette definitely his loss! I had the same thing happen to me when I got prego, gained over 100 lbs, & never lost it to this day. It actually fluctuates soooo much. My ex partner definitely did NOT find me attractive anymore. Probably cheated on me several times. In the end, once I left there was a whole world full of ppl just wanting to get a taste of this body. Rolls & all! We a full course meal babe! Not just a snack. 😜 FYI we have the same name!
@Jeanette You don’t need a man :)
I’ve found that taking medication really destroyed the very low sex drive I had to work with. The thought of having sex makes me want to cry, and my boyfriend touching me makes me upset. He’s so understanding and would never want to hurt me or make me feel bad in any way, but I feel so guilty never wanting to do anything. On top of basically nonexistent libido, it hurts to have sex and I haven’t been able to figure out why. Anyone have any tips?
@layayaya sounds like vulvodynia which can be caused by a lot of things. Mine was caused by a clenched pelvic floor muscle. It was internal and I had no idea. Definitely go to a sexual health specialist!
@layayaya Oh my gosh, everything your describing sounds just like what I'm going through. I'm wondering if Nexplanon is the culprit.
I just don't have the energy a lot of the time and if my sleep schedule get disrupted it takes me days if not weeks to feel better
@jb Yes! I can relate to this so much!
I have struggled with my libido SO much. Layayaya, your comment is exactly what I went through when I was dating my ex boyfriend a few years ago. I’m now with a woman and I think part of what makes sex enjoyable, safe, and more manageable for me now is the lack of expectation. For me personally, I feared sex because I knew I didn’t want to do certain things and I figured they would be expected. It took me being in a queer relationship to learn more about sex (and I’m not suggesting that’s the answer, lol, but for me I hard time exploring my sexuality when I was in a hetero relationship). What helps a lot for us is toys! Typically when we have sex, I use a vibrator. That helps me feel in control which makes me feel more relaxed and safe. Other things we’ve used are: feathers, candles, clitoral stimulants, etc. For me, having something else to focus on (e.g. a sensation or object) is helpful. As long as we both come we are happy! And we can do so without having oral or penetrative sex. So those are my recs. I also find sex to be more enjoyable earlier in the day because as the day goes on, especially at night, my anxiety worsens.
I think because of fibro and my meds it's had an effect on sex but I had a partner who had no sex drive that I think didn't help either
I would say it could be better if I didn’t have chronic pain or depression and anxiety…it just seems like so much work lol my husband is very understanding
I just have no desire for it plus my mental health is awful I’ve lost all feelings for my bf but I’m to anxious to leave him bc I feel like something is gonna happen to me and nobody else will be here
@Anxious do you understand that you are harming both of you by not being truthful with him? Being your authentic self will strengthen your mental health and self respect, not to mention the freedom for each of you to find deeper, more meaningful relationships with others. You two may even part as friends, because of your bravery.
Anxious. What makes you think "no one else will be there"? Sex isn't supposed to be the definition of love or relationship. Sex is an act of the body. Some can some can't. Those that can, can't always. Those that can sometimes even use sex as a tool in many ways (I used to be one of those people due to childhood abuse)
If you feel you should leave then you need to respect him and yourself enough to do that. Lying to him and yourself is only taking you further into your rabbit hole. If you want things to work but sex is an issue then respect him enough to have an open (completely) honest, bare bones, lay it all on the table discussion. Let him know in direct and no uncertain terms how you feel and let him chose the path forward (it may be without you but you'll both know you were honest and you will move forward.
Being completely open with your partner is super super HARD. It's also one of the healthiest and most rewarding thing you can do
Ok off my soap box now ☺️❤️
It's hard for me to get into the moment and just feel sexy and free. I often have some pain and it makes it even harder.. In addition I focus a lot on my physical and mental health during the day so sometimes at the end of the day I just want to watch TV and relax instead of doing all that "work" to get in the mood.. I know its not fair to my partner and I try to initiate but it's happening much less than in the past.
My condition hasn't really change or affected my sex life but my husband is depressed and he isn't in the mood most of the time
I got postpartum depression after I gave birth. Changing my meds and becoming a mother made me felt very unstable mentally and I just feel unattractive since..
I've used abstinence my entire life so I've never really been affected.
Excruciating pain with sex due to endometriosis. It’s mostly around my period, but lately I bleed three days a week. We have definitely learned to work around it. I don’t want to over share but I’m happy to talk if anyone needs to message me.
Never had a sex life, now I probably never will 😥. I feel like a freak.
@Nightowl You are not a freak. I promise! I don’t know the reasons behind what you’re going through, but not having a sex life definitely doesn’t make you a freak!
Because of all of my health problems it's really hard for me just to put myself out there in the dating world, not to mention sex! When I'm not in pain or having a migraine after an anxiety attack I usually would prefer just to stay home in my PJ and watch TV..
I’ve read that Ginko is really effective for sexual problems due to antidepressants
I started working out over 2 yrs ago I suffer from fibromyalgia arthritis in knees back and neck myofascial pain synonym and I was at 215 now I'm at 120.6 how it's been the Grace of God I started slow at one time I couldn't even sweep a floor or mop or cook. Now I'm jogging I'm lifting weights and I can sweep mop and cook this took a very LONG time to get where I am it was diligence and not giving up when I wanted to. I was in so much pain do I still get pain and tired yes I do but I also started eating better taking vitamins daily. I owe it to the Lord getting me where I am it's been hard work. Even if u start very small I started 5 minutes on a treadmill. there one time even showering was exhausting I had to lay down and sleep. It's possible it's finding what u can do and what u can't do. Don't give up even if it is small. Take care of your health and body. I never thought I'd be able to do what I can I still suffer set backs I rest recover and try again. Plus I don't use marijuana I hate the THC in it what it does to my mind I don't use pain meds because I have a addiction history I use voltaren gel or natural stuff to help. I hope and pray u all find something that helps you non addictive and will help ur body
JesusChild777 I am currently where you used to be and I would love to hear more, what supplements you take, what your diet is, what you do to alleviate pain and fatigue.
@Nightowl me too! I'm having a hard time even getting started. I get exertion headaches frequently, so it's difficult to make myself exercise. I feel like the clock is ticking and all it does is make my anxiety worse! I'd love some suggestions as well!
Meds have destroyed me
Between my medical conditions and my meds, I have a problem really getting into it. It's just easier not to. 😬😬
I wishi could remember what an orgasm was like 😥
Ok, maybe ots just me, but Jesus child, I feel like you're saying that if I just trust in God,and exercise and lose weight, everything will be just fine. But it doesn't work that way for everyone. I love God, I'm exercise intolerant,, and I've lost about 75 lbs. It's just not that simple.
No seaborn everyone is different but it's finding what works what may work for me is different than for u but these are just examples of what I've used in my journey if it can help someone I'm sorry if I offended you that was not my intent or my heart to do so but I do believe getting out of our comfort zone and trying even something small can make a difference
My sex drive goes all over the place. But when it's down it's gone completely like I dry up like the Sahara and lubes just dry up within a couple of minutes. It's bad when it's bad.
My spouse died and I am not even interested in a relationship.
I have hypersexuality due to trauma, so this makes my sex drive incredibly high. I often don’t feel like having actual sex and I never have had sex. Chronic pain and intrusive thoughts make it hard for me to take any action though, so I would have to say my disabilities make it much harder.
I enjoy sex, but I’ve never been able to achieve orgasm by myself or with a partner.
Honestly my meds make my sex drive way higher then before. I feel bad for my partner but I can never seem to finish.
I come less often than Santa clause these days
I get very distracted during sex due to ADHD, but if I take my current meds for it, it fucks with my sex drive and causes ed. Im switching over to a different medicine that won't hurt my sex drive as much soon though, so maybe I won't get be all over the place during.
@neoncrusader omg same, I get really engaged then get distracted by something I've seen... I'm on Elvanse for ADHD, but if I see something of interest say if Im on top that's it I've lost focus..
Prozac killed it completely. Hoping Wellbutrin brings it back!
If anything I'm more ready to be active.
Guess it's a censored? My whole opening up thing failed to post and won't let me retry.
Very discouraging, I wish you all life and comfort. App creators should at least notify why I just went through that for nothing
My sex drive has become very low. My hormones are all over the place and cause a lack of drive and my endometriosis causes pain. My fiance used to be understanding. He was my first boyfriend and the only person I was ever intimate with. We were together for almost 10 years and we were engaged for almost 3 years. He left me in September this year. He said I made him feel unloved and undeserving of love because of the lack of intimacy. Now I have no desire and I feel like no one will ever want to deal with me in the future.
@spoonie93 True intimacy has Very little to do with sex. I can say this because, after 6 failed marriages, and more sexual partners than I ever want to try to count, I realized that I Never truly knew Any of their dreams, ideals, thoughts, personal feelings about anything that matters, and the list continues, ad nauseam.
I want to know those things, LONG before anything in the bedroom, now.
That's intimacy, and that (I hope and pray) is the Real love adventure. js.
My sex drive is really high. However, I have not feel like I want penetration due to trauma and all the surgeries I had in my pelvic area
I have severe anxiety whenever sex is brought up. Like I start panicking and freaking out. Even last night we had to stop so I could cry a minute and calm down before continuing. It's awful. Even just like talking about it now makes me feel anxious. But I need to get that feeling out because it's stressing me out.
I identify as asexual. I don’t feel that my meds have had any effect on my libido at all
My chronic pain hasn't affected it much, but my bipolar and PTSD have impacted it a lot. Hypersexual or completely repulsed, it's been hard for me to cope with it. I abstain currently as to not cause more problems for myself
only downside with celiac disease is i cant kiss someone unless they’ve brushed their teeth/used mouthwash!!!!
Inverse psoriasis makes things difficult...
i recently had knee surgery so at the moment my sex life is nonexistent, but otherwise it’s generally great! sertraline robbed me of my sex drive for a while but i’ve learned to work around it.
I just have no interest. It seems fun and cool, and then I get close to doing it, and just get so fucking uncomfortable.
I don’t think my condition affect my sex life. I’m demisexual so I’m pretty much asexual unless I develop a deep emotional connection. I never had the desire to have sex but it doesn’t really bother me, I value emotional connections over sex. I am open to being in a relationship but only with a partner who understands my sexuality and is ok with that.
Ive gained a lot of weight from my birth control and my regular meds that i feel scared to have sex because i'm unhappy with my body
Idk I think I have trauma relating to sex and it really just... Fundamentally impacts everything about it for me. I don't want to go too into depth because I don't want to upset/trigger people, but just about everything about how I have sex is influenced by these experiences. Other than that, though, I think it would be hard for me to get close enough to someone to feel comfortable having sex with them because autism and social anxiety (I've never been physically intimate with anyone before, not even stuff like romantic cuddling or kissing), though sometimes I like the idea of it. Because I grew up on the Internet and how normalized sex work and casual sex are, it's hard for me to tell between normal and safe sex practices are and what's unhealthy and would hurt me. I like causal sex in theory and it's relatively easy to find strangers that are interested through apps and stuff, but I don't want to get fucked up from it, you know? Sex isn't a huge concern of mine, though, and I'd rather be mentally healthy than not a virgin.
It’s changed a lot pretty recently. I don’t really ever feel sexually attraction to other people at all, so there’s no desire to have sex. However my experiences with wanting to masturbate are different. It used to be super common, but then I was on antidepressants, and that mixed with my pain made it pretty undesirable. But now I’m taking testosterone as I go through a gender transition and that changed that so quick, and it’s become pretty regular.
Wellbutrin REALLY drives up my libido. I'm basically always ready to go 😂
I've seen a couple people write about how Wellbutrin increases their sex drive and I also take it, so now a lot of things make sense lol 😅
I personally love and hate the libido destruction 😭 good always and bad when i want it to go away
Hypothyroidism is kinda ruining my desire 😓 I always had a very high sex drive previously
Never was interested
i have vaginismus. some days are good but most times I can't have sex
I’m not interested in sex. I had sex for the first time years ago and it was the most painful and excruciating experience I ever had. I could barely last a couple seconds. wanted to scream from the pain. I haven’t had sex then and I don’t ever want to again. the whole thing terrifies me.
I used to have a really high sex drive, then my meds just diminished it. Then my husband and I got so fat we couldn’t have sex if we wanted to. Now I’ve lost over 120lbs and am starting to think about sex, not sure about having it because of dryness due to menopause, but he’s still fat & can’t perform. ☹️
I can’t have unprotected sex because I’m afraid of passing it to someone so I only use condoms for everything n I do have to use a vibrator if I didn’t have a vibrator it would hurt hopefully I can get my meds and be able to have unprotected sex and not pass it to my partner
my sex life is still young so i don’t know if this is caused by medications, disorders, or if this is just how i am but it’s so difficult to get myself in the mood. sometimes to idea of sex makes me feel annoyed with my partner which makes my heart ache because i love him to the ends of the earth.
I’ve gained a lot of weight from my condition so that kinda puts me off of it
I uses to have a decent sex life with my partner but now that's going down the drain because of my conditions 😥
Im interested but my physical pain and CFS often get in the way!!!
Due to BPD/HPD and PTSD, I’m hypersexual.
my iud insertion changed my sex drive. barely there. the experience was traumatizing and extremely painful. bled for a month.
I also have been extremely low self esteem, I don’t masturbate anymore. it’s really hard to even want to look at my body, especially my gentials. sometimes I can feel attractive, but it’s not as often anymore. my boyfriend tries his best but I get anxious with engagement. I think it’s a control thing. I can’t fantasize about my boyfriend, I have really deep intimacy issues that i’m struggling with.
I've been trying to be intimate with my partner and I'm new to this area of life. It hurts too much every time and we've stopped trying cause of it..
I’m a virgin
Drive is there, but it grosses me out and makes me feel guilty sometimes
My condition is Peyronie's Disease, which is a severe and painful curvature of the erect penis due to a formation of plaque near the erectile tissue. It has made sex pretty much impossible, so I haven't had any sex in a couple of years. There aren't many treatment options for this disease. I am currently undergoing treatment that involves a series of injections that are supposed to loosen up the plaque, but so far it isn't working. I'm struggling with feeling emasculated, but I'm coping. Luckily I have a very understanding and supportive partner.
I have a high libido, but I also have vaginismus (painful, involuntary muscle spasms with penetration) so that really puts a damper on things. My pelvic floor muscles are also hypertonic (overly tight all the time) so I experience pain with arousal and general anxiety around any type of sex, not just PIV (penis in vagina). I'm getting better slowly, but it can be very frustrating at times. I'm here to talk if anyone who's going through similar things wants a friend.
In my case, I love my husband and Inuse to love having sex, now a days it's becoming harder, I don't have the same sex drive, I just turned 40 last year and my desire is very low, my period is all over the place very heavy flow and longer than usual so it makes it hard. 😥
Period is so all over the place that I was bleeding for a month but that was an extreme situation. It usually lasts about 2 weeks (which is still way longer than I'd like) but hoping my new bc will help. I don't like period sex bc it's messy so this limits the chances I have to have intercourse. And my libido has plummeted and I experience sex repulsion due to trauma so that lowers the chances even more. I just want to have a healthy and consistent sexual relationship with my partner 😥
I am too old for sex.
@Female65 never too old for sex! Sex knows no age!
I feel the same way. I like my quiet time
The UTIs have made me unable to have sex in the way I want to.
I have never had sex but with all of the conditions that I have with my reproductive system make even a pelvic exam extremely painful so it makes me scared that I, well, can’t.
Not really due to my condition.. Ace person here XD
It's almost physically impossible most of the time. I might get an ok couple days from my pain where I can but then it just makes it worse. I have herniated discs in my neck not sure which and lower back l4, l5, and s1. I have major nerve issues even down there, so it makes it hard to have a sex life. I am thankful my husband is very understanding. Something has to give though. Between the discs and the "genital eczema" what the drs diagnosed with punch biopsy, he is lucky maybe 2 xs a month. And that's pushing it!😞
My conditions have terrified me when it comes to sex especially the PTSD, HS, my weight and femoral surgeries but as cliche as it sounds I found the right person. Because of my body there are certain positions we can’t do but that’s really the only thing that I think good me back because of my disabilities. With that though I still have a killer sex life so I’ve been very fortunate to find someone to be patient with me and my body.
I accidentally clicked the wrong one, but I guess it's true it isn't the same. But that doesn't feel like a bad thing. Sex doesn't have to look a certain way, you can engage in a lot of ways and I've found my sex life is really fulfilling for me, even though it has changed. Well... Recently it's been less fulfilling due to mental health stuff I guess. But I think that will pass soon.
Its sometimes ok and sometimes not something I feel like I'm even missing.
I dont understand what condition its referring to?? I have a couple? I mean im constantly ready for action if that's what it means
I was with someone going 100mph and then I got sick and (brakes screeching) I’ve been at 0 mph for nearly 3 years.
Life is certainly different and “blue”. 😩
After my surgery, recent flashbacks and pelvic dysfunctions. I don't want to do anything with sex. I feel discouraged and useless ( even though that is distorted thinking)
Mine fluctuates greatly and sometimes my partner can't keep up
I use to have a higher sex drive but I think it’s because of all the trauma I had. Now I don’t really wanna have sex anymore but I do because I love my boyfriend and I don’t know how to explain my lack of drive. 😕
I went from having a high sex drive to not even being able to kiss my partner without having a seizure
sex for me is very painful. i think i have vaginismus but am scared to talk to a doctor about it.
@Cvprisun sorry to hear that. Would foreplay help you relax and loosen up?
So scared to continue. And I want it way to often
My opinion on things change day to day and I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner bc they’re not good enough for me or if I want to stay with them forever. I want to have sex but I’m still traumatized from my first attempt and unsure if I should hold onto my partner for sex, and also so I’m not alone.
I was Always asexual Anyway.
I’m not interested men these days don’t know what they doing. The department is closed. Until further notice.
As a male, it's now trauma inhibited. I have desire but trauma from loss and from lies and manipulation by others.
I'm realizing that I need to have a deep conversation with multiple women before I have sex with them.
Sex drive is non existent
Right after surgery it was so so
But then anxiety and some depression kicked in and those meds made the little that I had disappear
It has out a Strain on my relationship because I like don’t even want to be touched
Love my partner but I don’t want anything to do with sex
My sexuality was one of my favorite parts of myself and now I have to be celibate to avoid ruining anyones life the way mine is ruined
I've never had any real interest, or a drive for such a thing, but that's coming from somebody who's Asexual. I suppose I can count it as a win in that department, since I don't feel like I'm missing out, even when others on my medications mention related side effects.
I don't have a set life. No boyfriend. No husband. No social life....
I don't have one
It has made me fairly hypersexual... especially and extremely during manic episodes, I used to not really care about sex at all until it became a trauma response and symptom of developing mental health issues, now I can live with out it but I want it alot, especially rn during a big manic episode I'm horny pretty much 24/7 and I hate it lol
I wish I have very low libido. This way, my mind is focused on productive things and not
sex all the time
I'm often not interested. And even when I am I am usually in pain and can't perform. Or I start and can't really finish.
I was never really a fan of sex to begin with. I can go months to years without it. And no, I'm not Ace, I can feel sexual desire for people, it's just I don't act on it. IDK maybe I'm just weird.
@Ally95 I’m the same way. I always felt I could take it or leave it…more often than not though I’m gonna leave it
I used to have a very I libido, but when I got on birth control, antidepressants, and epilepsy meds. I just don't seem to have any desire anymore unless I'm on my period. Which really sucks bc I want my partner to be happy, and I won't deny them. But they think I don't want them. When that's not true. I just hope to get off some of my meds soon
I got Crohns during puberty. I have many issues now with it. Mental and physical. I tried a psychiatrist but that was a joke. My husband's drive is a 10 and I am 1.5 it causes a lot of issues and heartache.
My husband was always understanding, it just doesn't come into my mind. We never talked about it.
I still enjoy sex, I am sore all over after , fybromonster
But I don’t even want to try to date , who would want to deal with my issues. And I don’t want to have to explain all my stuff
No one believes my pain anyway
The idea that I could possibly get pregnant even though I'm on birth control & use condoms is constantly invading my mind. Worry, anxiety, checking for pregnancy symptoms (where the ocd comes in), overthinking.
Aroace superiority babyyy
For me, ADHD makes most things and activities kind of "out of sight, out of mind." Including sex. I just don't think about it until my husband reminds me in some way that it is a part of our marriage that helps him feel connected. So I rarely initiate sex myself, which makes me feel guilty.
I think I'm asexual now. I have 0 interest in doing anything with anyone relationship or sex wise. I dont let anyone or anything touch me. I only have intrest in 2D men and nothing else. I'm the world's most undateable person ever.
I have really bad anxiety before.. I have IBS and I can’t seem to get myself relaxed. The whole time I’m thinking I’m going to either shit myself or it’s going to hurt really bad because it has before. I try and relax but I find it really hard.
I wouldn't know. I've been single and lonely for over 2 years now. The only way I'm able try and meet women is online, and all of them either won't give me the time of day, or are insulting, judgmental, and down right cruel.
I was manipulated into having sex for a while. I don't want to have sex again until after I get married because of the value I now have on sex. But at the same time, I have still gotten into intense situations that doesn't go very far because I end up having panic attacks
I'm not interested when I'm super anxious or depressed but generally I'm stable recently and have sex with my husband once every couple of weeks... Normal for us
I still enjoy sex, but it is always painful, sometimes excruciatingly so. Luckily I have an amazing partner who has helped to learn and understand my needs so my pain is very much more bareable. Although I still want to participate in it and like it, I know it will never be the same for me as it is for non ill people.
My body limits me and my mind can go from into it to not very quickly. Frustrating, disappointing, embarrassing, and difficult.
my sex drive fluctuates. when i'm hypomanic it's all i think about half the time, but when i'm depressed i'm pretty much fine either way.
@sprite that said, i have incredibly low self-esteem and that makes it hard. when i'm hypomanic i don't get as anxious about it, but otherwise it's really difficult for me to show someone my body.
My joint pain makes sex very limited in what i can do but my partner is very understanding when I say it's a bad pain day
My meds have MOSTLY robbed me of my sexual desire, but it comes and goes.
I've never had the highly active and kinky sex life I wanted, previously because of partner incompatibility as well, because I just can't hold the right positions or di the right activities with the same endurance, frequency, and strength as I wish I could. Even if I can my partner is also disabled with his own limitations as well.
@AnimalBoy To be clear, it's not that it's bad though. I just feel limited in ways I wish I was, my partner is incredibly understanding and helpful and has even helped open up options i wouldnt have had because of gender dysphoria and my current sex life is way better than it's been despite my disability being worse. I just have never had an option to do some of the things i wanted/want to do, although even that might be easier if I had the money to do other things I want to try.
@AnimalBoy a lot of the more kinky things are sadly monetarily restricting, but maybe there is some ways to adapt some of the activities to physical and financial abilities?
I have more sexual desires than beforw
I sadly don't have a sex life, I'm in 11th grade...
Grief killed my drive for almost a year, and while I still miss my partner that drive has come back.
uh I'm a sex addict and have bpd so um. not currently stable enough for that.
I have no drive. It has been this way for at least five years. I don't even want to be touch sexually in any way. I am supper dry and tried moisturizer and that help some but no drive. Tried estrogen cream, and that helps but my boobs swell so much you can't touch for pain. Help, because my husband wants some sex back. Had a hysterectomy 18 months ago due to andomytosis and post ablation syndrome. Still have overies.
My partner and I haven't had sex in 4 months. It's making me think he doesn't find me attractive anymore considering we used to all the time.
I would love to say I have a very active sex life but unfortunately that’s not the case. I’ve been lucky enough that my meds don’t really affect my very high libido but orgasms are few and far between most of the time. I also struggle mostly due to physical pain. I have Endometriosis and some days it’s fine but others having sex feels like someone is punching a bruise over and over again and it hurts. If it’s not the endo, it’s everything else. My joints don’t stay in place, they lock up, I can’t put weight on my wrists all the time, and never mind about being on top!! I wish I could, but I can never do it for very long. I feel really guilty about it too, it means my boyfriend is putting in ALL the physical work!! I try to sometimes but if I don’t stop myself he stops me cuz he can tell it hurts. I have a wonderful sex life because I have a really caring and considerate partner who does everything he can not only to please me but to keep my safe and comfortable. I wish it was easier and I wish it didn’t hurt so bad or that I could walk easier afterwards but it’s something that is very very hard on my body.
Semi related tangent: My pain has been a big reason we’ve started to look into BDSM. Playing mind games or taking extra time in foreplay can really make sex fun and in ways a lot less physical! It’s given us a realm to be intimate with each other but not always physical. We haven’t tried it yet due to several circumstances but we’ve been looking into shibari and rigging! The idea is if my body is all tied up, it can’t dislocate or hyperextend!! No need to put so much energy into holding myself together and I’ll just let the external supports do it! Sorry if this part got TMI but I hope it inspires someone else or something g 😅😂
I’m still going strong but I’m limited in positions for sure, my hips aren’t too good!! Sometimes we have to take breaks but it doesn’t keep anything from being fun
Does trauma count? I'm asexual but a lot of it is due to trauma around sex. I typically take care of those urges ~myself~ and feel sick at the thought of doing it with others. Unsure if that means it's due to medical conditions or just me being ace or both
As a woman I have trauma around sex. I have a normal drive but as soon as I get aroused I get all these intrusive thoughts about dusgusting and degrading things I've heard men say about women... and I immediately feel worthless and disgusted with my body and completly turned off. I also have a huge fear of getting pregnant before marriage. These days I'm not interested in men unless they're willing to wait for marriage to have sex. Otherwise I dont trust them and have huge amounts of anxiety about sex without a ring on my finger.
It honestly depends on the day, mood, and if I'm hurting or real nauseous. Usually I have no issues but one med does effect one thing 😬
In my 7 year relationship I never had the desire but now I'm on less meds and have a non abusive partner lol
Well, considering that I'm single as a freaking Pringle, it's not gonna be happening any time soon🤣🤣
My partner is ace and we are long distance, so there wasn't much to start with. My chronic pain has made it more difficult to initiate in the times we have been together to the extent we just exist in the same place at the same time.
I've had an odd order to things. Due to blackouts of memories, seeming neuro-divergent awareness, more recent incident, and a very diligent parent; I knew something was wrong. But I just continued to try and be as normal as I could be. As soon as I realized I was only doing stuff because I felt I should be, because that's what people did..right? I realized my drive for sex itself really wasn't there in a way that seemed the same as my partner. And the way they reacted(poorly) to less sexual stuff with irritation confused me. I kept having trauma responses. And I didn't even know. Its gotten worse for slightly different reasons but which have increased the complexity of the trauma(s). And It's so frustrating. I have been to terrified to even try because I have no idea how my body will react. And it has effected my dating and intimate life 100%.
Honestly I'm asexual so I don't really do that stuff generally, but I do know that my ocd makes it hard for me to stomach touching others 😅
For me it is mentapase that has taken my desire
I'm not sure I would attribute it to meds, but my sex drive changed in the last several years. You could describe it as a change from "active" to "reactive" I guess. I've really been struggling with it because I've been with the same partner and he thought I was no longer attracted to him 😔 I've felt like I was broken and lost my sex drive altogether, but I've been learning and trying to educate myself about what's "normal". I think it's actually had a positive impact on my anxiety even.
I don't know if my sex drive is low due to asexuality, trauma, medications, health conditions, or a combination of the above. I only want it during one week of the month. It takes a lot to get in the mood which feels like more trouble than it's worth sometimes. It's easier to do things for his pleasure than for my own.
@CaptainHolmes I also require a ton of lube.
So, yes my condition keeps from getting sexual at the most of times. I just went a 4 or 5 months of no sexuality. Then in the last few weeks, I have been desiring it a lot. Maybe too much? Maybe, my body is making up for lost time? Idk.
Mine doesn't affect my drive or anything but my muscles will act up or ill get stuck in my head. It's hard for me to relax.
I’m very ace. My sex drive depends on the day
This is a tough one. I have to be really mentally and emotionally ready to engage in anything sexual. Sometimes my mind will want to but my body doesn't follow suit, or vise versa. I dont know why I'm like this; I haven't had any trauma in that way. It just needs to feel right. So I guess drive just depends on if my emotional needs are being met.
@soccerbaby9015 I understand because I'm the exact same way
Because of my trauma, I can’t feel anything like that or even want to
I don't really know for sure because my wife refuses sex because she is scared of it.
@Xandini Going on 6 years now with 0 sexual contact. Sometimes I feel like I am going insane but there is no option for me.
Welp, I'll just stand over here as the virgin who still hasn't had her first kiss yet. 😔
@ChickenGirl1204 nothing wrong with that!
We're not as active as we want, but my condition makes it difficult to feel confident and comfortable
We used to be really active until my health declined, now I hardly ever want to. And when I do, usually my pain gets in the way
For me, sex is complicated. There are times where I won't want touch for months because of flashbacks.. and others where I want it none stop, but no matter what I still have the physical constraints of my inflammatory disease which I feel like is causing a rift between me and my partner, I can't satisfy him in the way he wants and I might never be able to. We still have a lot of fun, but there's always going to be that block.
I have mine the hubby has none been this way 8 years :(!
I almost feel like my husband is forcing even minimal sexual activity and I don’t feel comfortable right now because I’m so I’ll that I’m wondering what I truly need to do. I know men need sexual stimulation, but our relationship is so mess up that I’m unsure what to do about it.
I need to get stem cell treatment soon but we’re also having economic issues as well. This is a a nightmare.
@Denotchka if he doesn't love you unless you give him sex then leave him it sounds like that mofo be using you for your body- Richard
I'm asexual, so there wasn't any concern there to begin with
I'm asexual. I prefer not to have sex.
I haven’t been active bc It’s harder to become sexual even by touch. I used to consider myself asexual but it’s more like its hard for me to become sexual and be interested in it bc i find emotional fulfillment in other things so i generally don’t need that other spark in my life. But working on eliminating the fears i have around sex bc i was traumatized by my exfriends who made it sound like such a huge physical task and gross with their descriptions of sex… too little detail there but its a very long story i need to work on with a CBT sex therapist.
Because of my constant constipation, penetrative sex is off limits due to the pain it causes me. I still have an active “sex” life, just without penetration! I’ve found that I honestly don’t need it. ^^ Plus I’m able to know that I’m safe that way! No babies if the department’s closed. XD
i've never had an orgasm because of depression and antidepressants. it's so frustrating
I don't have a partner but I have high libido but I don't like taking care of it most of the time because I don't get much satisfaction from it, I have little desire but I'm often aroused if that makes any sense?
@jackdaw huh that's a tricky predicament. Have you felt differently with a partner?
@jackdaw I know exactly what you mean! I’m experiencing a similar situation.
Personally my sex drive is still strong. I have no issues with it. Tbh though I think I’m extremely hyper sexual though.
Honestly, over the past 18 years, it's been all of those options. Having a hysterectomy and learning some pelvic floor relaxing techniques has helped soo much. There are days when the fibromyalgia interferes with it, but mostly it's great now.
My husband and I communicate our needs and limitations honestly and openly. And look for creative ways to stay intimate.
No one fucking likes me bc I'm an age regressor ( not cognitive distortions speaking literally no one will say yes if I ask them out trust me I've tried) they don't wanna have to take care of me when little which is understandable twt I just wish ppl weren't douches
@animelover That’s difficult. I’m sorry.
I'm having an issue where I just can't get satisfied no matter what I do it's like watching porn and masturbating isn't doing it for me I have aggressive sex but I'm craving more I want him to ejaculate in me so bad but when he does do that I cry. I cry after sex all the time and I get so horny it hurts and I can't stop it no matter what I do and my body twitches so bad causing so much pain but the urge is so uncomfortable and constant I need a break.
Getting off to porn and using my toys isn't doing anything for me I can't get into my Dr until next week my nipples are hard and I'm begging for it and I don't know what to do to stop the urges.
I’ve been celibate for a few years and not really interested in finding anyone right now… and I think any sexual difficulties I had with previous partners was mostly because I just wasn’t attracted to them lol. I’ve since learned I’m demisexual.
I started taking Paroxetine after my last relationship ended and I have noticed a significant decrease in how often I’m able to reach orgasm when I want to. It’s a little frustrating but there are other things to spend my time on I guess.
Never been able to fully enjoy sex due to vulvodynia & intense fear response (freeze, fight, fawn). After a 3-year failed marriage, I started physical therapy but had to stop because the emotional pathways wrapped up in it were so bad. I felt like my worth was tied to my ability to have sex.
Working on the emotional side now. Aspec dating an aspec too 😅 it’s perfect lol 🥲
@srea Hey I’m glad you found someone with similar needs to you. I’m sorry that it took that journey to get there though.
My partner and I both have very high libido, but I often find myself falling into episodes because of how i associate sex with abuse scenarios. I've been working on adding romance instead of objectifying myself in my head, which seems to be the problem, it seems to have gotten better but I'm not entirely sure yet.
That's none of anyone's buissness
My sex life sucks. It's not because of me directly, my libido hasn't changed much. However, I believe it's mostly due to my physical appearance and the medicine smell that my body omits, my partner no longer finds me appealing!!
For the most part I have a very active and healthy sex life in the physical sense...
In the mental sense though it's terrible and filled with a lot of internalized feelings of guilt. I became active at a very young age bc of CSA and the hypersexuality it caused.
On the outside I show an abnormally high drive, but most of the time I don't actually want to. I just feel like I have to in order to make sure my partner still loves me and wants me.
I've been thinking about asking my partner to help me abstain by saying no and offering other forms of affection that aren't sexual.
I need to train myself to see sex differently than I do now... Otherwise I'll keep putting the pleasure of my body over the suffering of my mind.
My depression has made me too tired for it most of the time, but at the same time my bpd and trauma makes me hypersexual and it makes me engage in dangerous sex practices online. I hate my sexual feelings because of this
I literally am never in the mood and I hate that for my husband😩
Still a virgin (‘:
I have a high libido but I have a problem completing due to my anxiety medication
The type of trauma I have along with my special interest in kink, and the adhd, makes me pretty hypersexual, and my boyfriend is too, so- yk- I'm good-
@TheKandiCollective (Possible TMI TW, feel free to ignore, I just find this comment helpful and interesting) Actually this makes me wonder if what drives my partner’s interest in sex despite a lower than average libido is also a hyperfixation on kink? In a strange way it’s not that different from theater. This definitely makes me want to ask her about it. That’s interesting.
I need to be emotionally connected. Physically isn’t a problem I just have to get out of my mindset and be reassured all the time to give myself to my boyfriend
I'm single, a Pringle, and unable to reproduce😶😜
I am quite unsure. Libidio is fine. At first sex was painful, now it's amazing. Because of the changes my body has been going through, my ligaments can get locked up. My muscles will pull back. Certain positions are painful, my hip sockets are deformed, locked up or out of place. My partner is understanding, so we stick to what's works. Today he told me "I need to stegthen my legs" I worked out not too long ago..... So maybe my legs just can't strengthen. The muscles just won't relax at times. Everything else is normal regarding intimacy.
I thought it was my mental health, and in a way it was. It was the relationship I was in. The relationship I have now, I can't contain myself with him...
Used to have a high libido and thought that maybe my birth control had lowered it lately, stopped taking it 3 months ago and its still non-existent. Maybe my depression meds?
@AlexLee I’m on Prozac and it KILLED my libido. It’s better now but for a while I was basically asexual
@Louva_bug feel this..lol. But other psych meds.
My meds reaaaallly messed up my libido but luckily with my partner a lot of it has come back. My anxiety and people pleasing has also caused problems, it led me to do things I wasn’t actually comfortable with because I valued the other person’s pleasure and comfort over my own. Being true to my needs and practicing setting boundaries has helped me have a much more healthy and enjoyable sec life
Medication almost entirely ruined my sexual health until I researched and found something else. Otherwise my pain affects it but doesn't prevent it. Adaptability is helpful.
I am on wellbutrin and it doesn't take the desire away like alot of other meds I've been on, in fact it probably adds to it. My only issue is I still waiting for the right person that will put up with me 😊😊 so I don't have that experience yet
i’m asexual and have a low sex drive and zero interest in sex. i did find that some antidepressants increased my sex drive, but still no attraction lol
Having bipolar I know that sex could lead me to a manic place. But since being in a happy relationship I haven't had issues.
Between being demisexual, and frequently being exhausted and/or in pain, I have to tell my partner no a lot, which makes them sad.
Despite my mental health and trauma likely contributing to a very late bloom sexual attraction and activity wise, I’m actually at a point where I believe I have a much higher drive than my peers- including one’s I believe to be mentally and physically healthy. I think where my mental health is currently, quick and easy pleasures seem much more appealing and my desire to control my impulses is lower than it has been in the past.
I used to think it was me and my condition, but it was just my partners. My current is amazing and I couldn't be/never thought I could ever be more attracted to a person. I'm almost insatiable. I could stare at him for hours as if he were an ocean view....
Lamictal has pretty much hyped my sexual drive up. I'm happy about that, at least I'm not depressed.
It's more... unpredictable? Usually it's fairly high and will be pretty hyper for days on end and then I'll go through a timeframe right after where I'm entirely disinterested. Then back again. It's rarely casual at any rate, usually one extreme (or close to one extreme) or the other.
I used to have a very high sex drive and a very healthy sex life. Then I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. It's hard to even stay awake most days. I also suffer from PTSD from an event 3 years ago that I'm finally going through a trial for in October. I'll be better once it's over with but I want to be more intimate with my partner. I just don't know how.
Ive been hypersexual for the majority of my life. So id say im struggling with having control rather than the lack of it
Honestly with all of my trauma, I use sex as a way of feeling validated. I'm not quite sure if I even know what really being horny is because I've used it as a crutch to feel wanted and loved for so long that I can't see it as anything else. I'm always annoying my fiance to have sex because it's one of the only ways I feel like I can get the love and intimacy that I crave. I know that it's probably bad but I'm not sure how to go back from it.😔
I get very sweaty during sex due to hyperhydrosis. Anyone have tips?
@G123 I have the same issue! my boyfriend just has a fan on high speed pointed directly at us but mostly at me the whole time to keep me feeling cold
I'm Asexual and only form theoretical sexual attraction. But my maladaptive daydream sex life is very good thanks for asking.
I'm Asexual and I'm not into either a man or woman but my body has needs that I don't like or want I'm also a bit sex repulsed. I'm also dealing with trauma but I'm making it!
Sometimes I have to stop or I decline altogether due to my mental state, but I'm thankful I have a partner who is so understanding and doesn't even try it when he is aware of my state.
Im asexual but one of our conditions affects it because we're a DID system, some headmates are sexual while many of us are not, we're also autistic so I think that shows a little bit that it's difficult to want to or understand why someone would even engage sexually
Im demisexual, so I'm attracted to people's personalities. But my bipolar 2 has the side effect of hypersexuality during manic, so I'm just one catch 22 worth of messed up.
Scientifically, there are more of the hormones present needed for sex in the morning after you wake up so that's likely another reason earlier in the day is more enjoyable. (: just fun fact lol
I don't think I have ever had an orgasm in my life. I can get wet and I feel pleasant tingles and sometimes it feels like something could happen but it never does. I get right on what I think might be the edge and then it just backs off completely. There's no full body reaction of shaking and arching and sobbing. No mind going blank or goosebumps or toe curling. It's just... Nice. Just a mildly pleasant sensation that never overwhelms or leaves me breathless. I get aroused here and there but it's more of a bodily function than an intimate yearning. I'd rather just knock it out alone with a sexual aid than pretend I'm not bored out of my skull and impatient for the whole song and dance to be over for my husband. He enjoys it and I endure it for him. My g-spot is either missing or malfunctioning because I've tried to find it multiple times with no luck. My clitoris is the best bet to feel the most sensation but I have to practically abuse it to feel anything noteworthy and never anything to write home about. It's depressing tbh. I feel like I've tried everything and it just can't seem to happen for me.
@SunnyShark right I was thinking something was wrong with me but I know I’m not alone
@SunnyShark see the obgyn for help on that since my obgyn helped my gspot and clitoris to work properly again
Honestly for me sex isn't just the intercourse, but I also don't think it's bad to abstain. Everyone is valid and it's the thought that matters more than anything.
Still a virgin but have a high sex drive
My meds have really hindered mine to the extent where I'm not even interested in it anymore and feel like I could live without it for the rest of my life. I talked to my doctor and said that the sertraline im on is a big med that can cause it
I don't have a sex life because my condition attracts narcisist who want to take advantage of me.
I also have this problem where I do have a sex drive, but I'm not nearly interested as "the next guy" who's willing to lie his ass off, say/do anything and empty his pockets to get it.
I went from nothing to reckless hookups back to nothing. So I guess it affected me negatively (?)
I'm only usually sexual with myself as of late and because of mental health and trauma I am demisexual so it makes it very hard to have sexual or romantic relations of any kind but that isn't due to any meds I have.
My condition makes me hard to be around most of the time, so finding someone who likes me enough to want to have sex is hard. Doesn't help that I'm demisexual, so hook ups with strangers aren't my thing.
@kittyrose what Is demisexual????
@Scali demisexual is when you're only sexually attracted to people if you know them on a deeper level.
I enjoy sex very much, even though my libido is not very high. I haven't had any sexual contact since I left my last wife.
I refuse to have sex before marriage again, And I am Not marrying Anyone that I don't know We'll beforehand.
If she Ever cuts me off, Unless it's for a Valid reasonable cause, I am OUT!
Life is too short to be wasting time trying to make something out of a hole!
pocd and hocd have ruined my sex life and zoloft unfortunately affects my ability to orgasm, but it’s either sex or being able to function on the daily. it’s sad that i have to choose between the two because sex is one of my favorite things to do.
It’s gone bruh. Just gone!
Most of the time sex just makes me feel cheap and used, so I take care of it myself. I can perform just fine. I just don't like the way being with someone else makes me feel.
I generally avoid sex, I'm a virgin still but it has been hard. As someone who has BPD, sex has been a tricky subject for me. I'm prone to risky behaviors and my feelings are easily manipulated by my own brain so I can't say I haven't wanted to but at the same time, I acknowledge that I usually change my mind about a person, situation or even feelings toward myself and my body so easily. I'm waiting to get in a better place in my life and better headspace before trying it out. It also helps that it makes me feel superior to the person who wants to have sex with me and like I have full control but that's a whole other thing that even I don't fully agree with.
@Ziggy_B That might be worth discussing with a mental health professional as well, there’s the indicator of a narcissism comirbidity that it’s good you seem to be aware of!
Never had sex, my parents control everything, and I've never been in a relationship.
I have sex with my partner, but I don't experience sexual desire when she's not with me
I'm Asexual and single. Probably for life because nobody sticks around very long once they find out I don't want to have sex at all.
My husband and I manage around my IC, but I have to ask my primary if I can go on low dose antibiotics going forward to stop the chronic UTIs
As someone who has had issues with consent with this topic, I find it really hard to connect with that part of myself.
Tbh, I've been more sexually active bc of them... Is that weird?
I'm a sex-repulsed asexual, so nothing I guess? It gets hard when doctors believe it must be a side effect of something. But I'm like, no I'm good. This is the way it should be.
I'm asexual, so nothing partnered (lol) but the biggest difference is that one of my meds slightly lowers my sex drive, thank goodness.
For my folks with anxiety, how do you manage anxiety enough to pursue sex & intimacy?
I feel stress about responsibilities kills my ability to engage in an activity that requires you to pause, relax and be present.
i feel like if i have sex with somebody i’m manipulating them so i just don’t do it
I have always had & always will have a high sex drive! No matter how much I weigh. Even if my ex partners don't find me attractive. I have found others who do enjoy all 320 lbs of this & are willing to work around my 'limitations' & still satisfy everyone all around
My endometriosis caused almost complete sexual dysfunction over the last couple of years. I’m in my early 20s and this has been utterly devastating
Out the damn window - thank you Lexapro and depression 😮💨
Been single for a while so idk
A little tmi i am in the mood a couple times a week, but my husband has low libido
I have sex less frequently and it's usually just when my partner wants it because sometimes it can be painful for me, and sometimes when I do want it it's on a day that I can't because my fiancé has to work.
I'm find my answer in the comments. My boyfriend and I are very careful and have a position that's most comfy for me so I'm not in extreme agonizing excruciating pain of any sorts since he knows how bad my issues can get and how bad flareups can get so he's very careful and asks me if he's allowed to do certain stuff to me so he can do it only if I'm comfy enough for him to do it
Birth control has changed it for me - my drive is definitely lower.
what sex life lmao
I'm Asexual! I've never experienced any sexual attraction or feelings for anything before, so I wouldn't know if any of my disorders or medication would have an impact on that aspect of my life anyway :)
My sex life isn't real
My boyfriend is very supportive and understanding of my Tourette Syndrome. He even senses when I'm about to have a tic because he pays such close attention to my movements. When we're intimate and I have to stop or move away from him because of a tic, it doesn't cause a problem at all. The mood isn't lost because he responds positively. I'm really grateful for that.
What sex life 😥
Sometimes no affect at all, sometimes increases it, sometimes voids it completely for extended periods of time
I'm asexual in general so been abstaining as the norm for a while now. It's kinda boring as one of the main characters...i rather watch. Maybe feel something.
I’m bipolar so libido been feeling way up in a very serious and wonderful relationship and can feel self conscious about it but hopefully alls well and the mania will subside
I've had an interest in sex but I've had trauma twice and just can't bring myself to sleep with anyone. I have that thing where your female parts don't even open to take a tampon because of trauma. But if I ever do, I'm worried it'll be really painful for my body with my joints.
The swings between sexually frustrated and totally abstinent are annoying but manageable
Most of the time its fine just painful, on bad days its not possible
I've been manic and hypersexual but now with new meds I haven't felt the desire to have sex in months. Honestly I'm okay with that, I have past sexual trauma and I'm glad enough to avoid triggers
Non-existant but not due to anything on my part. Hubby was severely injured on the job in '09, and well, you get the idea.
stopped taking antidepressants because of it
Menopause and meds have stolen all my sexual desire 😢 thank God for my patient husband 💜
It isn't like it use to be for sure. It has stolen some of my desire. Most of the time it is very lacking. Every now and then I would say is what it is now.
As an intersex person, having abnormal genitals make sex life hard. It's difficult to find someone who understands and wants to part take in sexual activities anyways.
Between chronic pain and psych meds, sometimes it’s hard to be intimate with the person I love most
I can't do some positions and stay in one spot for long. And sometimes I get too depressed for that type of lifestyle
I got a penile fracture that couldn’t be surgically repaired so I got Titan coloplast penile implant . Best thing I ever did for myself
I love sex and I have a massive sex drive but unfortunately chronic vaginal problems and joint mobility issues make it incredibly difficult sometimes. It isnt great when you start heavily bleeding mid sex or your hip pops out. But yknow. You win some you lose some!
Just need someone who is supportive enough with my anxiety
Idk why but I usually find sex cringy if I’m not on something. And I don’t know why
My mind instantly ruins it.
'You're fat hes going to think you're fat'
'You've put so much weight on hes going to see it'
And then im pinching and feeling and get completely distracted by it.
And then I hate myself for it afterwards
I have a fear of physical contact because of my ptsd. I want to be intimate like cuddle and kisses but I’m just terrified. Anxiety just rises of the possibility that I might have to kiss someone. I get flash backs and body dysmorphia and everything just gets overwhelming. Can anyone relate or is it just me? Xx
@Blue001 hello, I have just posted underneath you.. Just read your comment and I feel I can relate.
I have CPTSD and was triggered by an anniversary a couple of months ago.. Now I can't let my boyfriend touch me, luckily he's understanding and wants to work through it with me and not just run..
My partner has been really understanding. I’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, the constant stomach pain and fatigue was a nightmare. They didn’t know what was causing the pain so they put me on a “precautionary” antibiotic which ended up giving me a yeast infection. Then after that I got hemorrhoids. So even though the pain went down significantly since the start we haven’t had sex in 3 months because of all the other stuff. It’s been so frustrating because I want to have sex! There’s just a fear of sudden pain or a really bad fart haha
I havnt been able to with my partner for a year , it’s just too painful with the endometriosis and he understands but a year is a while . My health doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere however I think this Js something that I can help but I don’t know how .
I thought the doctors or health advisors would give more advice with sex being painful and what things to try to help but they havnt . I’m only 21 and it’s quite embarrassing that I can’t x it’s a normal thing and it shouldn’t be soo painful so any advice on things that I can try would be so helpful xx also I was never crazy about sex the way my friends were . I don’t know if that’s just me or the fact I’ve been on contraception since age of 11 and I know that can decrease certain levels x
I've suffered from PTSD all of my life, due to invasive medical procedures that have left me scarred since I was born, given a condition I was born with (Bladder Exstrophy). Yet, Katrina, the trauma holder within my system (I have D.I.D), she has a high sex drive, so I would say, that she and I (the host), often do things that I completely forget about the following day, and it leaves me confused. I would say, I'm personally more of an asexual, while she's the one who influences risky decisions I make, (and often regret), with my sex life 😅
I get occasional times where I want sex, but they only last about an hour or so. Most of the time, I'm too nauseous, tired, or in pain to even think about it, and the few times I have had sex, the pain in my hips is excruciating for days after to the point its just not worth it. I'm a gay trans man, and I cant do anal intercourse due to my lower GI conditions, really struggle with oral intercourse due to tmj disorder and jaw dislocations, and anything involving my hands is really difficult due to locking and dislocating. I also have a lot of trauma relating to sexual assault which has caused some panic attacks in the past when attempting to have sex, and always makes the whole thing anxiety inducing. I'm still working on the trauma many years later and it's getting easier but it's slow progress
I think on the contrary I suffer from hypersexuality as a way to cope with high levels of stress. but it’s as addictive as a drug, and most of the times, especially when I’m really really down, I feel unable to control my impulses and feel them extremely guilt about it
@Ma91 me too
I actually get hypersexual and use sex as a coping mechanism. It gives me serotonin and makes me feel wanted/attractive which helps my depression. Plus I feel like that's the only way I can receive affection/attention a lot of the times. I feel super guilty about using sex that way but I can't help it. I'm like legit addicted to it
I've never had a sexual encounter or even dated much. I feel kind of weird for this.
Must have lots of sex now
My chronic pain makes it impossible to perform some sexual acts I enjoyed, and it’s really difficult for me and for my partner. 😥
Meds interfere with sexual function. Physical pain limits physical ability. Mental health decreases libido.
When I don't take my anti depressant my sex drive drops a lot and with my anti depressant it's still pretty low but if I smoke some weed I get so h***y that my fiance is dragged to the bedroom as soon as I get my hands on him
As a woman who's converting to catholicism I don't commit adultery, end of.
@Cargo that’s really great! That’s the beauty of Alike, there are many different people here who have a safe place to come and share their thoughts and experiences! Many people here are of such different walks of life and beliefs. We support anyone here regardless of belief or they way people live their lives. 😊 message any of us if you need to talk.
Well im aroace. Ive been since 2020. I never found that relationships really worked for me. But im autistic and so its really hard to tell romantic and platonic relationships apart. Most of the time. Im really happy with a friends with benefits situation but just romantic type feelings where i can kiss them and itd just be platonic. But my anxiety plays a huge role in it. Im terrified to have sex bc of babies and shit even if i cant and if we didnt even do it. Im just very anxious about all of it. So i just avoid it and im taking time to myself to make sure i can love myself before loving someone else
I have a mental block due to PTSD
I have no libido at all
Used to be pretty sexual. Now terrified of it. My experiences have ruined this aspect for me. It makes my stomach turn.
I hate my body because my leg has been amputated
So not interested in it anymore
I am excruciatingly horny with nobody to assist. Masturbating only does but so much.
I haven’t had sex in so many years I think I forgot how. My chronic pain and joint issues would make it interesting if the opportunity ever presented itself.
All of the above unfortunately
I used to call myself a "serial monogamist"... I wasn't easy but my love interests never lasted long because I really wasn't attracted to them to begin with, I just enjoyed companionship. People want to fix this about me. I don't need drugs to change my libido, I just need people to stop trying to fix me and to listen to what I think my future should look like. I am an adult, but somehow people have gotten this idea that I need fixing and it is exhausting. This was my childhood abuse, a parent who deflected all problems onto me as the scapegoat. The thing is that I have something impeding my progress... It was legal and no one ever helped me with that. They wanted to change my religion, education, mental health, but none wanted to change the limitations established by courts.
I'm asexual and aromantic so I have no sex life lmao
Serious penile fracture that couldn’t be surgically repaired so I got Titan Coloplast penile implant . 24/7 woody
It's great until afterwards, when I've fucked all my spoons away 😥😂😂😟
Haven't had much of a sex life. Haven't even had much of a love life. It feeds the depression and it's just a downward spiral until I crash again and do something rash. I don't think I can even have sex and satisfy a woman because I'm impotent and no one believes me because I'm only 29.
Sex life? Whats that lol
me and my boyfriend used to have sex a lot. I’ve always had body dysmorphia issues, and in high school I started taking Wellbutrin and my weight dropped super fast, unhealthily fast and it ended up in a spot where I was actually happy with my body for the first time. but during the pandemic, I gained all of it back and a few more pounds and since then our sex life just hasn’t been the same because of me we do have sex every now and then, but I get so nervous that I can’t take my shirt off I won’t do certain positions because I just get so nervous and anxious. He’s a good guy and I know that his love for me hasn’t changed and luckily he’s not a super sexually driven guy, we are both not very sexually driven so our relationship hasn’t taken a toll because of the lack of sex. But sometimes I do feel like I want to have sex, but I also feel so self-conscious at the same time that I can’t. My TMJ does also affect our sex life because certain things can’t be done or can’t be done for longer periods of time because my jaw will or can lock or just get sore and I will have a flareup of it being too hard to chew or eat or talk. So, even though our sex life has diminished and taken a backseat, it has luckily not taken a super big toll on our relationship.
It don’t even work no more 😭😭 Thx meds…
I still have a good sex life but I just ain't as adventurous as I used to be due to my conditions
lol im ace
I'm grey ace, generally I don't have any sort of sexual attraction (I just don't see people in that light/have a major need for it) but im still willing to engage in it, it feels nice to do it with my partner and I'd like to get all the way there you know? I've started taking welbutrin to help with that since we suspected it was a meds thing. It's helping, I've been getting closer but not quite there yet
It makes it hard to find others for this activity.
I just wish it didn’t take over my sexual function. I wanna have a baby with my wife but this condition is basically sayin you can’t do it. It could be the cause of my marriage ending and I don’t want that 😥
I'm way too tired for sex lol
I’m only interested in females lol
I've mostly shifted toward casual intimate relationships so I don't have to let anyone in on all I have to deal with. It fills the sexual desire but I often end up feeling more alone. Wish I was confident enough to pursue a relationship again.
i don't have a sex life just yet but it hasn't affected my desire for one. nor has it affected what i do in my own time (if anything that's increased in the last two years, but i'll blame that on the testosterone lmao)
Between the meds I'm taking and my physical symptoms, sex is just so hard. Thankfully I have partners who understand, as they are also disabled, but it's still a bit of a struggl
It isn't the same because of my hip being messed up (don't know what's wrong with it), my meds bringing down my libido, and contracting herpes. I'm only 26 but I feel so worn out in my body 😞
I have zero sex drive.. and im am ok with that
Since starting menopause I have no sex drive at all
Think its a mix of things. Some times I get the desire and sometimes it's the last thing on my list.
It depends on the day. Sometimes, I have a high libido, have a great time, and feel great. Other times, I'm too mentally tired, depression is bad, and/or I feel fat (so I say no) or I just don't enjoy it as much. Downside, my husband and I are TTC, so we should be doing it more than we manage to.
I don't want it, thank you very much. It sounds disgusting and acutely painful. The concept, in general, is just.. BLECH ew, gross, no, I don't want it, that's disgusting, put that away, keep it to yourself, don't come anywhere near me.
The fibromyalgia actually makes my upper back area more sensitive, which is excellent for neck kisses, but the endometriosis... I could do without the endometriosis. 🥴
In pain constantly and depressed, I have no reason to feel attractive, and my partner doesn't make any effort to pursue sex.
No sex for us. Been married over 20 years. My hubby has Ed but refuses to take the meds for it. We even sleep in separate bedrooms because he snored so bad. We still love each other tho and have been thru a lot with my 8 brain surgeries beginning when we were married 9 months. 🤗
Never been lucky enough to be on a date. Being single, my whole life (41 yrs now) wondering if my disability has anything to do with it.
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