Struggling with Chronic Illness and Mental Health

Having chronic illnesses are the best and worst things that have happened to me. It sucks because I feel extremely held back by the physical disabilities and mental illnesses and in someways I am. I will never be able to run or go to sleep without checking the locks on my doors twice and that is a limitation. I also have an extreme understanding for equality and understanding. I was raised in a super judgmental cult and I used to be the same exclusive person. I had the tough it out mentality and I genuinely believed if you couldn’t get through something on your own you were weak. Because my body has forced me to accept help and differences between people I am a much better person. I have friends from all backgrounds, religions and ethnicities and I’m much better off. I still struggle with feeling weak sometimes because that brainwashing hasn’t left me completely yet I can not imagine what kind of person I’d be if I didn’t have all my chronic illnesses. Now I’m getting married in a few days to an excellent man who knows about all of my crap but taking care of me helps him with his crap and it makes me want to take care of him so I’m the end it works out. I would love to not spend as much at the pharmacy and to be able to work a full time job to bring in more money but I wouldn’t give up my personal human growth for that.

I'm going through this right now. I seriously don't know what to do. I am seeking help and have appointments coming up. But I'm typing this to let you know that you are not alone.