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TurtleRose

310d

I know that as my conditions continue to get worse, I will be able to do less. I used to be an active perfectionist. Lately, I am getting out of bed every day but barely accomplish much else... How do you accept doing next to nothing, feel lazy but not beat yourself up for being lazy? How do you keep your children active when you are not active 🤔

Top reply
    • Alfubet

      307d

      @Alfubet Also remember it’s ok for the kids to be bored, being bored will push them to be creative and active of their own accord. As far as accepting doing next to nothing, make a gratitude journal. It has helped shift my focus away from not accomplishing big things every day to being excited about all the little things I do accomplish. Hope this helps, feel free to message me! ❤️

    • Alfubet

      307d

      I’m right there with ya. I have an extremely active 3 yr old that I cannot keep up with. I will send him to play in our back yard while I sit on the porch (people with autoimmune diseases really need the extra Vit D). We’ll read lots of books. My favorite tool when he’s super wild is a YouTube channel called “Jump Games”, and I highly recommend it. It’s videos of video games like Super Mario but it encourages the kids to jump, duck, run in place, or punch the air along with the character. It wears him down while working on coordination. I’ll also do scavenger hunts with him where I’ll ask him to find something of a specific color or shape. 🙏

      • Alfubet

        307d

        @Alfubet Also remember it’s ok for the kids to be bored, being bored will push them to be creative and active of their own accord. As far as accepting doing next to nothing, make a gratitude journal. It has helped shift my focus away from not accomplishing big things every day to being excited about all the little things I do accomplish. Hope this helps, feel free to message me! ❤️

    • Aimless

      310d

      I have ocd so I get the perfectionist part of this 100%. Before all my health issues I was working full time (sometimes 2 or 3 part time jobs) and caring for my kids as a single mom. About 6 months after fibromyalgia reared it's ugly head full force, I had to quit working. Now I struggle just to maintain basic housework and selfcare (laundry, dishes, showers, etc). I wish I had better answers for you, but all I have is an overwhelming "omg me too". I'm tired of feeling lazy, I'm tired of feeling diminished or less than I was before all this, and I'm tired of everyone looking at me and my kids with pity because I can't take them to all the things I'd like. I don't know how to stop beating myself up, but it feels like we're all in the same boat with holes everywhere and only a handful of us have oars and they are all broken.

    • Chibi

      310d

      I agree with what's already been said and would just like to add a few thoughts that help me. Try to remember that progress is not linear, and that the pace is not so important as that you just keep going. Praise all your wins, especially the small ones that usually go unnoticed. Give grace always, and remember that we can only do what we can do, and that doesn't look the same everyday. I hope this helps. ❤️

    • faerywyrm

      310d

      I struggle with this every day. I spend a lot of time stretching before I get up in the morning, and it helps. Small things to do are important. If it's doing dishes or taking a shower, maybe opt for the shower. Spend a bit of time every day on something sedentary, like reading to your kids or doing crafts with them. Let them know that when you can't get up and go that they can still do things with you. It worked with my son.

    • 55isMe

      310d

      If you arent sure that your conditions will get worse, dont assume that they will. Health can be unpredictable. It can change for the bad or for the good. 30 years ago, i was disabled for 3 years. This time 4 years so far. But things are looking up. Do what you can. Make small goals. Maybe just dishes one day, even if it takes 3 attempts. Maybe choose 1 thing that is possible but hard and 1 that is still reasonably easy. Accomplish something. Try more when and if you can.

    • Stormshield

      310d

      Communicate extensively and regularly about what's happening to you and what will happen to them if they do/don't make healthy choices. My 6 year old already actively turns down processed foods, for example (not all the time, but often). Do what it takes to get them play-mates and varied extracurricular activities. Enroll them into teams. Ball team, chess team, it doesn't really matter. The social connections will inspire them towards where they need to be. Make friends and foster strong connections. Teach your kids that even when mom/dad "can't", there is always someone who CAN. Mom/Dad will be there as much as is possible, but someday they won't be and building community is about prepping for that eventuality. Pray. Hug. Share. Cry together. Strive together. You'll find your way and be stronger for it.

      • faerywyrm

        310d

        @Stormshield 👍🤗

    • Krystal

      310d

      I’m so sorry you are feeling this way, I wish I had some advice but unfortunately I am feeling the same. It is so frustrating, but just know you are not alone. ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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