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Barbiegrl

470d

I remember dissociating a few times as a small child. I would pretend i was a character from a tv show, walk like them, talk like them, envision myself like them. Another time I remember looking around and down at my hands and thinking this isn’t a video game this is real life. I wish i knew exactly what happened to cause the response but i can’t remember. My mother was/is a mentally ill alcoholic but i don’t know what happened at least when i was that young. It was only when i was very young then went away for a long time until the pandemic hit. Then i started envisioning myself as tv characters again, speaking like them. That lasted for a while but i think that part went away. In 2021 i started to suffer from derealization. I still suffer from it rarely (although it was nearly debilitating when i was gradually lowering my med dosage) but thankfully seroquel exists. It would be triggered by bright sunlight and fluorescent lighting so i wear sunglasses a lot. I wish my mind wasn’t like this. I’m not sure anyone will read this but if you do i hope you’re not as much as a basket case as me

    • avian

      470d

      i understand, i've always struggled with dissociation and depersonalization. it's gotten better with medication, but when i was younger i would do the same thing where i would basically assume the identity of a fictional character. i had problems remembering i exist, too. like when a stranger would acknowledge me in public i'd get really confused and freaked out? but anyway, the sun triggers my dissociation too. it's nice to know i'm not the only one, the sun has always caused me so many problems and i could never figure out how to explain that to people

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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