Celebrating Sobriety: My Journey So Far

I remember the days I used to keep a bottle hid under my mattress. As soon as my eyes opened in the morning, I'd reach under and take a swig. But now I don't drink anymore because it gives me the bubble guts. I do smoke marijuana though, but I don't hide it. What I hide is that when I run out of cigarettes, I'll roll one out of anything. Even the ashes in the ashtray. That's what I don't say out loud. People think weed is my bad habit. It's not. I can not smoke weed. It's the cigarettes that have the worst hold on me. When I don't have reefer, I just wish I did. When I don't have cigarettes, I'll make something to smoke. Smh. If I can break away from cigarettes, I probably won't even like smoking weed anymore. Idk though because I can't quit smoking cigarettes long enough to find out. Last time I quit, the government stepped in my life and ruined everything. From the time that's happened I started back smoking, and it's been amped to the umpteenth degree.

Hi, sounds like you need professional help. I think you are already at the beginning of the road because you admit that you suffer from it and that it is a problem. I also had times when I couldn't go to sleep without cannabis or alcohol. I spent a lot of money on it, was dependent on it and eventually, I got fired from my job it got so unbearable that I couldn't go on trips outside the house, I didn't go on dates, etc. After all this, I decided to seek professional help. There are clinics that deal with a kind of ״rehab״ from the dependence on both alcohol and cannabis and today I am a new person, with a regular job and I even got engaged to the love of my life recently. Have you tried professional help?