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saggee

802d

To those that consider themselves chronically ill/disabled, do you think it’s wrong to love calling yourself chronically ill/disabled? Granted, I wouldn’t wish my disorders, physical or mental, but if given the choice to get rid of them I wouldn’t say yes. (This relates more to my physical disabilities than mental illnesses). It sounds fucked up, but I’ve become so used to this community, routine, humor, spoon theory, and culture that if my disabilities and illnesses were magically taken away it would be like taking a piece of my identity away. I know able-bodied people and some who have disabilities but don’t label themself as such tend to think it’s weird- “Why wouldn’t you want to get rid of your suffering?”- but it’s become an identity for me and I’ve come to accept that (in a way) and it’s helped me a lot regarding the bad shit I go thru like surgeries, doctor appointments, judgement, ableism, etc. Because my mom considered disabled as a dirty word I never used it and never was in the community, I felt so outlandish and alone, but since using disabled as an identity instead of a description about me I’ve loved my body more and accepted it more (though my mom will sometimes side-eye me when I call myself disabled/Deaf and will remind me “I’m not disabled, I need to stop using that identity and find identity in God.”). TLDR: I like calling myself disabled and if given the choice to be able-bodied, I wouldn’t accept it because I’ve grown attached to the label, community and culture that’s apart of it. Is that wrong? Should I be ashamed?

Top reply
    • jdubz

      802d

      so i’ve considered myself chronically ill for a long time, but i’ve only recently thought about disabled as a term for myself. i’ve gone back and forth on it, and i think that comes down to a lack of knowledge of disabilities growing up. i think to some extent i’m still working on unlearning that disabled equals some sort of mobility device. that all being said, i’ve considered applying for disability benefits because i was having so many doctors appointments that i didn’t think i could find a job to accommodate my schedule and i needed a source of income. i looked at the qualifying list of impairments and three of my conditions were listed and i fit the criteria for each. so, according to the government, i am disabled. also, i think maybe why i’ve gone back and forth on it is because if i’m looking at just one of my conditions by itself then i wouldn’t consider myself disabled but of course all of my diagnoses are pieces of the puzzle. so to answer your question, no i don’t think it’s wrong to love calling yourself chronically ill/disabled. i wouldn’t say i *love* that about myself but i’ve accepted that this is my life. however, if given the choice to get rid of any/all medical issues, i definitely would. it’s not that i don’t love my community and the support and solace it brings; it’s that every day is a struggle and i am Tired and just want it to be easy for once.

    • Doglover25006

      802d

      I think it can actually be healthy for your illness or disability to become part of your identity. This means you have truly accepted and embraced who you are. This gives you community and strength. I have found gifts that come along with my illnesses. I know myself physically and mentally better than most people I know which allows me to support myself much more effectively and easily. We all have limited time and energy I am just more careful to spend both on things that I really want to do. I’ve made some amazing friends I never would have met and I learned some friends didn’t really have my back and not having fake friends or fair weather friends.

    • Clearlyseen

      802d

      Maybe you like it because it was something that you couldn’t do!🤷🏾‍♀️

    • Ripple

      802d

      If I were suddenly not disabled or sick anymore, I would definitely miss that identity. I’ve been sick so long and I’ve gotten used to it and I’ve met so many amazing people in this community that I would miss. And honestly I have no idea how to be able bodied it would be so weird.

    • strawberrysoop

      802d

      i completely get this!!! i'm still not allowed to call myself disabled in front of my family because they'll jump down my throat trying to tell me i'm lucky to have the little mobility i have. my last therapist insisted it wasnt an identity, simply a descriptor of one aspect of me. in fact, its actually the most Important part of my identity. it's important to me that i become proud of my disabilities, and i think including it in my identity is an important step in that journey. im tired of hiding it and being ashamed. being disabled is COOL and gives me a unique perspective i never would've understood otherwise

    • Brookie_Cookie

      802d

      Absolutely not, I deal with chronic pain. I considered myself disabled, and I genuinely wouldn’t wish my illnesses on anyone else; at the same time I also wouldn’t get rid of them because I’ve dealt with them for so long that I don’t know anything else. It’s helped me find a community that I wouldn’t have otherwise, and I know it feels weird to want to keep something that’s debilitating; it makes since when you deal with it for so long that the appointments, medication, community, and routines become who you are. It’s okay to label yourself how ever you need to feel comfortable in your own body. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. We all cope with this life in different ways and that’s more then okay.

    • jdubz

      802d

      so i’ve considered myself chronically ill for a long time, but i’ve only recently thought about disabled as a term for myself. i’ve gone back and forth on it, and i think that comes down to a lack of knowledge of disabilities growing up. i think to some extent i’m still working on unlearning that disabled equals some sort of mobility device. that all being said, i’ve considered applying for disability benefits because i was having so many doctors appointments that i didn’t think i could find a job to accommodate my schedule and i needed a source of income. i looked at the qualifying list of impairments and three of my conditions were listed and i fit the criteria for each. so, according to the government, i am disabled. also, i think maybe why i’ve gone back and forth on it is because if i’m looking at just one of my conditions by itself then i wouldn’t consider myself disabled but of course all of my diagnoses are pieces of the puzzle. so to answer your question, no i don’t think it’s wrong to love calling yourself chronically ill/disabled. i wouldn’t say i *love* that about myself but i’ve accepted that this is my life. however, if given the choice to get rid of any/all medical issues, i definitely would. it’s not that i don’t love my community and the support and solace it brings; it’s that every day is a struggle and i am Tired and just want it to be easy for once.

    • TheGhost

      802d

      Don't be ashamed. I think it's harder for able bodied to label themselves disabled. I have chronic migraines and miss so much work and class, it's gotten to a point where it's embarrassing. Never be ashamed of your identity

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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