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Missymoo

331d

So a few years ago I was diagnosed with bpd I don't take any medication, my moods change so quickly and it can be triggered easily, I recently had to get rid of someone from my life because they made my life hell and I noticed now that they aren't here I feel more like me, but is bpd all known for anger and rage, but im not like that, I do get thoughts of is the world better without me here and all that, I'm trying to get a therapist but the place I wanna go to is a phone call only place cause of covid but I'd much prefer an in person, I would also like to mention I do lie alot and I get away with it a few years ago i did have a therapist for 2 years and i kept things away such as my ods and all that they let me go cause they said i was doing better but i wasnt when they called to tell me they didnt need to see me i cried cause i knew i had lied to them about how i was feeling but I feel I'm at a point that I need help, can I please have some advice

    • Trudie_tootie

      329d

      Going against your brains way of protecting you is deeply difficult. Writing down what you WANT yourself to be more like (ie. Truthful to therapist, not giving into high alert emotions quickly) and reflecting on it often helps ALOT. all your emotions and feelings are real but you OVER TIME can shift them to serve you better. Much luck.

    • WickedJ

      330d

      Hey! I don't know how much advice I have but I can definitely relate. I'm in the same boat with the therapist on the phone thing. I am not a fan, but I'm not sure what else to do. I'd say do it if it's your only option, but it's honestly just been pointless and frustrating in my case. I bought a CBT workbook online to help myself get through until I can find something more helpful. I haven't gotten far but it's interesting and does make you reflect and better understand your triggers. With the lying thing... obviously it's more effective to be truthful, but it's hard!! I know i have a hard time showing vulnerability or sticking up for myself. That's another reason I don't like the phone calls. I will be rolling my eyes and getting super angry but then my voice comes out sounding like a sweet, customer service lady. It really is a long, exhausting road. I hope you'll be able to find something that works for you pal.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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