I feel close to others without a problem. My problem is letting go

it makes me feel very close to people but at different times when i am not being praised or being given attention my bpd makes me think they hate me or they were just being nice. it impacts my relationships a lot and it’s difficult to tell what peoples feelings towards me are

I always want people to like me and when they dont it’s always their fault. I personally have an issue with mimicking peoples’ personalities so that they would like me- and if they dont then i’d tell myself that the reason they dont like me is because they dont like themselves. By the time i get home i experience nothing but anger, since there’s no one else around to match their emotions