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Ashkat

784d

I have been having episodes where something triggers me and from there all hell breaks lose. I got into a argument with my husband and I started raging. I impulsively threw all of his stuff out of the room into the hallway. his night stand his desk everything, I was screaming and pushing him. I was just so angry and then afterwards I felt bad but I felt like good in a way. like weight was lifted off. but before the episode I was paranoid and felt like here but not here. is this part of bpd or something else? I don't want it to happen again

Top reply
    • MariaEm

      780d

      I feel like that always means I need to workout. I always underestimate the power of working out its low key the best script but I wish it worked like that cause it’s hard to find the energy to most days. I just got a rower machine and have been loving the full body workout feels very time efficient and I feel like the rhythm you have to keep is so tedious that your mind kinda gets lost and time goes by pretty fast. I guess this is all bs info to you but genuinely was trying to help bc I relate all to well

    • MariaEm

      780d

      I feel like that always means I need to workout. I always underestimate the power of working out its low key the best script but I wish it worked like that cause it’s hard to find the energy to most days. I just got a rower machine and have been loving the full body workout feels very time efficient and I feel like the rhythm you have to keep is so tedious that your mind kinda gets lost and time goes by pretty fast. I guess this is all bs info to you but genuinely was trying to help bc I relate all to well

    • MariaEm

      780d

      I do it all the time and I totally get you on being sad but feeling so much better

    • MariaEm

      780d

      Yeah I feel like I’ve been in those moments more time then I wish to admit. I started taking Cymbalta a few months ago and feel kinda like a new person idk I feel like everyday is different with or without meds. 🙃 fml

    • magalito

      783d

      hi there, i can imagine how you’re feeling. dialectical behavior therapy is 100% the way to help with this 💕

    • Ashkat

      783d

      I will deff get that! Thank you! Last time for my consistent manic episodes my Dr put me on Lithium and you have to have regular checkups and blood work because you can become toxic. Well I called for my follow up and the office wouldn't let me see my Dr because of my bill ( I was out on leave from work to get adjusted to new medicine) so I got depressed on it stopped eating and drinking and was still taking it till maybe my mom could help me out but I ended up having a psychotic break cut myself and then following a panic attack that I've never had before I could legit not breath and my legs went numb I couldn't walk I had to go to the hospital. I'm just tired of playing around with meds. Cymbalta has helped for a while but now it doesn't much.

    • jennyxx

      783d

      Definitely worth bringing up to your doctor - it sucks with BPD meds aren’t too effective and if insurance doesn’t cover it, which so many don’t, therapy is too expensive to get on a regular basis - my sister who is a therapist gave me this book when I was diagnosed which may be helpful even without a therapist: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and ... (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MMQ95VG/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_FGPRKQGECB893W1RGKVR

    • Ashkat

      783d

      No I'm not :( I was going to therapy but I can't afford it right now. I was thinking of maybe asking my Dr to change my meds but idk :/

    • jennyxx

      783d

      Hi there! Im sorry to hear you’re going through this :( While I’ve had BPD most of my life, I was only diagnosed about a year ago (previously diagnosed with bipolar) so I’m still learning about it- but from all I have learned this does really sound like a reaction coming from BPD. Are you currently talking with a therapist? Dialectic Behavioral Therapy is supposed to be an effective way to help train us to react differently when we’re triggered like this, but it takes time and work to go through.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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