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Floppa434

461d

I've been diagnosed with BPD twice but some things don't add up - like the "fear of abandonment" must show up differently for me. Instead of fear, instead of begging people to stay or making a scene, I get cold, distant, and it's more like a "I've accepted you're definitely gonna leave eventually so, whatever." Of course this is in illogical situations and I don't WANT people to leave/ignore me, cuz if they do, I explode but not necessarily with "PLEASE STAY". I've found comfort in being alone since childhood so, maybe that's why?

Top reply
    • QuinnS

      420d

      I do the same thing! I never understood that part! Maybe we prefer numbing ourselves ahead of time so the possible abandonment doesn’t hurt as bad.

    • QuinnS

      420d

      I do the same thing! I never understood that part! Maybe we prefer numbing ourselves ahead of time so the possible abandonment doesn’t hurt as bad.

    • AriEden

      460d

      "I'll leave you before you leave me" is a bpd thing

      • Floppa434

        455d

        @AriEden YES and this is an example of variations of how symptoms and situations can present, thank you

    • vinetree

      461d

      It might be overcontrolled/quiet BPD. I'm similar. It's important to know for treatment too bc normal DBT might work less for quiet BPD. There is specific DBT for overcontrolled BPD I think, and interpersonal or attachment based therapy would work too.

      • Floppa434

        455d

        @vinetree I most certainly have quiet BPD and it's made me question my diagnosis so many times cuz it's "high-functioning" and I'm able to hide it from people a certain amount- knowing subtypes is important and I guess I just want to hear other testimonies from those with quiet BPD so I know I'm not alone

        • vinetree

          450d

          @Floppa434 I've questioned whether I have BPD a lot too. There's actually a subreddit dedicated to quiet BPD called r/QuietBPD if you want to look there for more support :)

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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One of the replies in the provided context suggests that people with abandonment trauma or fear might push others away as a way to control the possibility of losing them. Anxiety and BPD can contribute to these feelings, and depression may exacerbate insecurities and anxieties. It's possible that your unique experience with BPD manifests differently due to your personal history and coping mechanisms.

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