Coping with BPD After Being Cheated On

i definitely can’t cut her off, she supports me financially because my mental health makes me unable to work, but my therapist has told me before that she’d be happy to talk to us together… maybe i’ll do that. and thank you so much for the recommendations :) i have the dbt one and some other dbt books too but i’ve never heard of the grief one so i’ll definitely check it out!

May I recommend two books to you? You’ve probably heard of the green dbt skills workbook. If not or you don’t have it that’ll help figure out coping skills to take your mind off your fp. And I also recommend the grief recovery handbook by John w James. Remember that grieving can be the loss of anything.

Is there a way to sit down with your fp without it getting out of control? Maybe get a mediator for the situation. Because it sounds like you both need to talk. Unless you have and if that’s the case maybe cutting them off completely? Although it’ll hurt and you’ll grieve the loss of your fp, it may help you take your focus off them and start to feel better mentally.

the problem is she’s been my fp for years and years and i have such bad social anxiety that i can’t talk to anyone else so i don’t think i’ll find a new fp for a loooong time. i just don’t know how long i can deal with this :/ i like the idea of writing things down and ripping them up though, it sounds cathartic

So they’re your FP (favorite person)? Yes it is very hard and confusing but those feelings usually die down once you find a new fp. I like to write down my feelings about fb and then rip it up into tiny pieces and throw it away.