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Snowy

821d

TW: suicide, SH My boyfriend tried to kill himself last night (didn't succeed, thank God). He's been off his anti-depressants for several weeks now for no reason besides he forgot to take them a few times and eventually just stopped because he was "feeling fine!". He refuses to go to therapy because it "doesn't work" for him. He refused to go to the hospital last night (and every other time he's attempted suicide). He hasn't hurt himself in a month or so, but he also very well could be hiding it from me, we only see each other a couple times a week. I am at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do. He needs help but refuses to get it. It has been painful for me to watch for so long. What can I do? How do I get him to get help?

Top reply
    • gracegrace

      821d

      pufferfishe basically said it all. my prayers and support to you both. someone told me once though; you can't help someone who doesn't want the help. like at some point there's no more you can do and that's awful but it's true

    • Snowy

      820d

      Thank you both so much for your responses. He has started taking his meds again. I think this scared him enough to realize he still needs them. Idk if he will get therapy or not, but this has happened enough times that I think I'm going to give him an ultimatum: get help, go to therapy, stay on your meds, take care of yourself, or we need to break up/take a break. Because it is too much for me to constantly and always be taking care of him without him ever having the ability to take care of me when I'm bad - and I get pretty bad too, I'm just doing something about it (therapy, meds, lifestyle (to an extent), finding support, etc). Part of me wonders if he is afraid of getting better. He's been bad for so long (like, since he was 12 and he's 21 now), maybe he's forgotten what it's like to be good. I wish I could help him. I only hope that maybe showing him what will happen if he doesn't start taking care of himself will motivate him enough to get help. I'm scared y'all. Thank you for your kind words.

    • gracegrace

      821d

      pufferfishe basically said it all. my prayers and support to you both. someone told me once though; you can't help someone who doesn't want the help. like at some point there's no more you can do and that's awful but it's true

    • Pufferfishe

      821d

      The only thing I can think of is to sit him down and tell him how all of this has made you feel and put you through so much pain and suffering and grief and that you are pleading with him to try therapy again or to at least get back on his meds. Maybe tell him that different therapists and therapy are very different and that it can be a matter of just finding the right one for him. I know you may have tried all this already, but it’s all I can think of you doing. It sounds like you’ve been there for him through a lot even though it’s caused you pain, I hope things get better for both of you :(

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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