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SwordInTheDarkness

1y ago

My Struggle with Bipolar Disorder and Misdiagnosis

I haven't been formally diagnosed as bipolar yet, but having a probable name for what I'm going through helps so much. During December and January, while I was in the middle of my mental break and a nervous wreck from sunup to sundown, I had all kinds of wacky theories and UNprobable names for what was going on with me. After hardly eating in weeks and losing 12 pounds due to an axiety-induced lack of appetite, I worried I was developing anorexia (which is a condition, not a choice). After an also anxiety-induced lack of sex drive and brief downright aversion to the thought of sex, I worried that I had repressed memories that were causing it all. I'm 99% sure I've never been assaulted or abused and that I do not harbor repressed memories. I worried that my husband was intentionally keeping me dependent. I am absolutely very dependent on him in a lot of ways, but it's never something that he's forced on me or that bothered me before. I can and do take care of myself just fine when I need to. After a series of (minor) injuries, I worried that I had some psychological need to be hurt as some sort of cry for help or attention. Yeah, that was it, I had Munchausen syndrome (I don't)! Now that my new meds and coping techniques have taken hold, I've felt much more stable in the last couple weeks, but also knowing what it more likely IS that I'm experiencing has been comforting, rather than distressing like I feared.

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dolphinblues

1y ago

It can be comforting to have a true possible answer instead of all the guessing. I know what it's like to have a bunch of questions and theories about what's wrong with you, with zero answers. I am glad you can put your theories to rest and are getting some answers and a game plan going. Hugs and prayers that you continue to feel better and find the regimen that works for you!
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SwordInTheDarkness

1y ago

Thank you 🤗 I seem to have found a good regimen pretty quickly, at least for now, and I'm doing so much better.

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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