You’re not alone. I have been on medication for it since 2016.

I’ve got bipolar 1 also. Don’t ever feel alone. It’s scary and sometimes I feel so disconnected from myself that I dissociate super hard. And it’s very anxiety-inducing always worrying about a manic episode. I feel a lot of comfort knowing that the people close to me are aware of warning signs and how they may be able to help. If you haven’t already, try and find a support group within your in-person circle (family, friends, etc.) who you feel safe and comfortable being raw and open and honest with about your condition. The more people who are aware and can be more sets of eyes on you, per-se, the better! If you don’t have a lot of people like that I’d seek out local group therapy or even other online platforms like this where you can connect.