Struggling to Balance My Desires and My Health

I can absolutely relate to these feelings and I have to say that partly it has been about finding joy in new things that make you feel happy and fulfilled that maybe aren’t as “exciting” but are pleasurable and rewarding in a different way, it has also been about doing those exciting things on my terms knowing that maybe the experience won’t be as I imagined it to be because I will have to make the experience accessible to my needs and maybe that means going on a trip or to an event and having to miss out on certain things that your peers are able to participate in, and sometimes it means knowing that I am going to push myself to my limits for the sake of experiencing this one moment and knowing that it will cost me. I can expect a bad flare up and a burnout and usually I can expect a depressive episode to come along with that (and I don’t suggest you do this often or even at all, but for me, it’s about living my life without regrets and if sometimes that means doing something that isn’t good for me in the long run to have that once in a lifetime experience, I personally feel it is worthwhile and if anybody deserves a little excitement once in awhile, it’s us…)

This is exactly how I’m feeling right now.

Its definitely hard sometimes to reconcile the thought that you don't have the same capacity to do things like other people your age can but my advice is to remind yourself that generally its less productive trying to push yourself. If you want to do something and have the energy and time to do it then go ahead. If you're not feeling a hundred percent then maybe see if you can do whatever it is that you want at another time most often things can wait, I've waited to do things because I knew better than to push myself. But if you really want to do something when you know it'll push your limits, I'd just prepare to take of the flare up/burn out that will follow and take care of yourself in the following days.

I feel the same way. I wanna do things but most of the time I can't because I'm in too much pain and nothing seems to help. I feel like I'm trapped in a old person's body and I hate it