Feeling Lost and Out of Control

i feel like i am going crazy, like actually, i truly feel like everyone is against me right now, i feel so overwhelmed with school and home chores and love drama, i haven’t done any school work and it’s been hard for me to do house chores for the longest time, but lately it feels worse, and i sometimes get urges to over dose on pills, and become admitted to a mental hospital. i done know how to control anything right now, it feels like everything is crashing down… what do i do… i really need guidance right now

[TW: sh thoughts] I feel like hurting myself... I've been very isolated these past few months and I feel super alone and like my friends are tired of me ... I have no evidence of that last part I just miss them alot and haven't gotten to talk to them in awhile .. I have a crush on one of my friends who I don't know if they would ever like me.. I'm (19 F trans demiboy) and they're (20 M gender fluid) they said they might be demiaromantic so I'm just not sure how to go about the feelings I have for them.. like would they ever like me or is there no chance here .. i don't want to make them uncomfortable either ... so I haven't said anything.. and with my mental health..I don't wanna drag them down.. I just feel unworthy of love and that I should just say fuck it and fucking hurt myself.. I haven't ever done anything major.. never really drew much blood only small scratches in the distant past but I still get the urge to do it again every now and then but I haven't done it since at least sophomore year of highschool.. but ye. my cat is laying on me rn so that's keeping me safe and sane .. but uh that was my vent..

Struggling with Depression and Medication