Navigating Communication in Neurodiverse Relationships

I've dealt with a lot of this as my husband has learned some of my behaviors are just related to adhd and aren't things that should be made fun of or joked about in harsh ways. It gets better over time, but there are things he's used to joking about that he's having to change his mindset about so it takes some time 😔 The best thing you can do is to keep communicating what you're thinking/feeling. If they don't relate to the way your brain works, it's likely they just make assumptions about what you're feeling, based on how they would act. It can also help to remind yourself that this is a person who loves you and when they make a joke that feels hurtful, you can tell yourself that hurting you wasn't the intention. You can also ask if you aren't sure. It might feel a little weird for them if they say something they think is funny and you ask "is that a joke?" But sometimes that's a good way to show people that the joke they made isn't really something we find funny. As for expressing your feelings, it sounds like you are having trouble describing how you feel, not just with your partner. If that's the case, I'd recommend taking the opportunity to expand your vocabulary! 😊 if you do a search for "emotion wheel" you can find SO many descriptors for feelings. I find them helpful because they start very broad (are you happy, sad, angry?) but they help you get very specific in the end. I find that as I go through the emotions I have to give myself evidence for which one I choose and that helps me with explaining my feelings verbally.

I am in the exact same boat. We have daily conversations about how my brain works. I know my partner is trying so hard but he forgets a lot of the time.