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aReign

706d

Does anyone else on the spectrum with milder symptoms ever have to deal with EXTREME imposter syndrome? Like you know and understand that you are very different from neurotypicals, all of what you deal with fits the criteria of autism, and you've been told by professionals that you've autistic traits, yet you still feel like, "nah I'm just really good at faking it." But like, *why* would I be? I'm very conflicted

Top reply
    • Gmaster

      700d

      I feel you 100%

    • Gmaster

      700d

      I feel you 100%

    • Erebyssian

      705d

      Yes. I feel like a lot of mine are considered "low needs" because I don't exactly wear it on my sleeves. But like even certain consistent loud sounds make me start to cry and it's so painful. Or if my routine is slightly disrupted I have the most absolute mental breakdown to myself where I find it hard to continue on with my day. I also have an amount of sensory disorders and it all kinda ties together where I didnt realize I was having breakdowns from being over stimulation with texture and audio stuff. And I tend to go non verbal when in extremes of emotions. I feel like its not that much to point me being autistic, and when I explain it I'm a little o_O

      • SunInAugust

        705d

        @Erebyssian what's really frustrating to me is so many of my NT friends say things like "You're too hard on yourself, we all struggle with that, socializing takes practice". While they are well intended and there is some truth to that...it ultimately makes me feel very unseen and unheard and misunderstood

      • SunInAugust

        705d

        @Erebyssian I really resonate. Reading this makes me feel really seen and understood

    • SunInAugust

      706d

      Absolutely. Daily. I'm generally low needs. I have a shit ton of trauma. It seems like I'm just a trauma laced anxious person who is clumsy and dyslexic with sensory issues who also walked on their toes as a kid and ears a lot of the same thing and struggles with change.....it doesn't feel like autism to me even tho I was officially diagnosed.

      • Erebyssian

        705d

        @SunInAugust I really had like almost everything you just said. I found (and still finding it) a bit hard to understand tbh that I'm autistic. But when layed out on paper I get it, I just mentally don't feel like I have the extremes that most people view it as so I'm like. No, I'm always just being dramatic?? A lot of mine have been things that got worse through the years post trauma that I didn't have as a kid, only a bit of sensory stuff as a child. I also always thought the stuff was normal so its hard for me to tell since mine arnt like screaming symptoms

        • SunInAugust

          705d

          @Erebyssian exactly!!!! I really resonate. But I've been trying to figure out for myself how I can make my life easier. Because yeah, I dont seem like I have many needs and its odd to call myself autistic most of the time (because its almost always been paired with the idea of genius or intellectual disabilities throughout my life). But I *do* have needs. I do better when my friends wanna meet at someone's place, not a loud bar. I keep motion sickness meds in mt glove box because driving makes me dizzy. I directly ask what others faces or tones are if there is even a little doubt. I started wearing headphones in the grocery store. I can manage without, but this way feels so so so so much better. And as "low needs" as I appear to almost everyone but myself, I know the inner turmoil i feel. I feel sad for not having long term friendships. For finding relationships hard. For feeling so misunderstood and disconnected and stressed about social things. Replaying things and scripting future conversations constantly. And I feel like I'm not actively participating in my own life. I'm watching it go by as executive dysfunction and emotional disregulation take the drivers seat. For "low needs", I sure do cry about it a lot.

    • Erebyssian

      706d

      I feel this 100%. I was convinced I'm being dramatic and I can stop and I need to stop and it's all in my head (in the way that I'm making it up). It took my partner a lot of talking to make me understand and see, that I know I feel this way but it's not. I understand, but I still have these feelings. I'm more okay with it now that I'm not as confused at least

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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