Uncomfortable with IUI, Need Advice

Hey y'all, am I being overdramatic/selfish? My husband and I have started to seriously discuss having children. Since I'm trans (MtF) and he's cis we'd have to either adopt or go the surrogacy route. Since I've been on hormones for a while now I'd probably have to go the IVF route if I want a biological child. My husband wants to go the IUI route, which is less expensive. It's basically the turkey baster method. He's hoping one of his friends would be willing to donate eggs and/or be a surrogate for him. I was 100% on board, but the more I think about it the more uncomfortable I feel. I'm just not comfortable with the idea of either one of us putting our baby gravy in someone and letting it sit in there. Especially with someone we know. I have no issues with IVF, but IUI just feels different. I don't know how to bring this up, and I'm scared to. Any advice?

Your answer

coder87

1y ago

I don't think you're being greedy. But I think you should consider the cost difference and what you could do with that money to help the baby. Remember that sex is not love and sperm is not even sex. It's just a way of transporting genetic material. There's no intimacy in it, and it certainly doesn't make your relationship in any way impure. This woman is going to carry your baby, which in my opinion is hugely more personal than having sperm injected.

PrincessCookie

1y ago

Your point about the cost benefit is definitely something I've been keeping in mind. Which is probably why I feel like it's selfish to feel what I'm feeling.

TheTrueSuperDX

1y ago

No, you're definitely not being selfish from what I can tell, having a baby as a biological female is a pretty touchy subject to think of alone, and as Trans MtF it's bound to be way more complicated, tho, I wouldn't know, I'm just talking about what I think I'm sure you're not being selfish and overdramatic tho

PrincessCookie

1y ago

I feel inadequate as it is having to go the surrogacy route, but the thought of IUI really tears me apart. I guess part of it is jealousy tbh. That I'm a dud when it comes to creating life in my own body. IVF though doesn't make me feel anywhere near as bad as IUI.

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