I feel the same way. You can not explain what you are going through unless they have or are going through it. One of my biggest things is when I can go out like to a restaurant, I have to sit with my back to the wall. I am here to talk about anything. Nothing is to small. To us it is real ❤️

There are many days that I can NOT close the bathroom door. It is hard to explain. It is not claustrophobia, even though that seems to be the easiest way to explain it to others. It is not a fear of small spaces at all

My sister continuously uses my name when stopped by cops for anything from meth/crack or a simple traffic stop so I constantly have warrants on my record. I do have my record flagged so I KNOW I can't and won't be arrested plus I KNOW cops aren't looking for ME but I still can't get my brain or nerves to calm down when I see a cop ANYWHERE. I wind up visibly looking nervous and scared and fighting with my brain over "they are looking for me" "no they are looking for her with my name"

just seeing a cop will most the time send my mind into fight or flight mode. I think it's just the thought that they could have a warrant out in my name. I did almost get arrested one time because they decided to run my name when I called them out for something I had found at my old job. I got told that I am lucky I don't have tattoos on my hands or legs because "they could arrest me then".

When we have post-traumatic stress disorder, we do things that we don't understand. I have had terrible fear of going in stores alone. I felt that everybody in the stores was staring at me and following me. Even though they were not, my fear was still so overwhelming. We can't explain some certain behaviors that we have when it involves post-traumatic stress disorder. Even blackouts are unexplainable to me. I have no idea what I will remember and what I wont. Realizing when you are having these strange behaviors or not, is important though. When you feel the fear, your behavior will not make sense. A counselor will help you work through your fears and can help you make more sense of your thoughts, behaviors, and fears. Some things will never be explained though. You just have to trust that you have a reason for that fear. I wish you the best. I hope you find support somewhere. A counselor, family, friends, Church families, are all places to get support through these difficult times. Build up your support system as high as you can. Get as many people involved, without having to tell them too much, what kind of support you need. There are very good people out there that love you.