Well the first issue is that your boyfriend really shouldn't be making you feel like that. Everyone needs some alone time to relax and unwind, even if they can relax with another person there it's still different and most people still need both. Remind yourself nothing about you taking a moment to relax and collect yourself alone is a bad thing even if someone else needs you, you can't be helpful to your loved ones if you don't take care of yourself and burn out. Therapy would definitely be a good start but your boyfriend sounds like he would benefit from some form of couples therapy to help him understand and adjust to both of you needing to put in effort into caring for yourself and that for a healthy relationship to work you need at least some space and boundaries. Self deprecating himself and hurting himself is clearly a sign of an underlying issue, and you are likely not at all qualified to be the main person helping him with it. When I was younger I was pretty much the "therapist" of my friend group but it made it so I couldn't take care of myself and I was never at any point qualified to actually be the only one to help these people in a real way, even if I helped and made a great difference for a short period of time and kept them alive, and im glad for that, it took self help and in some cases professional help to actually make a permanent change and genuinely help them so they weren'tin so much turmoil all the time. And sadly some of them refused to help themselves or find a professional to help them and our relationship fell apart because I physically and emotionally could not handle helping them any longer, and it definitely did make me feel like i was a worse person because I was not only struggling with my other social interactions but I felt like I was letting them down and hurting them more. It sucked and the only thing that made it better was adhering to boundaries for all of us, including making sure I didn't rely too heavily on my friends in that way either and have other support systems so the emotional labor is evenly distributed, including making sure i get enough alone time that it doesn't hurt the relationship. I hope you can find a balance that makes everything functional and comfortable for you