How to Handle Anxiety and Depression in a Long-Term Relationship

My boyfriend really struggles to understand things sometimes, like the stress of making a decision with depression. I try to take some time to think about what it is that stresses me out about whatever moment, and after that, I verbalize it. So, there have been a few times he’ll ask what we could do to make me feel better, and at first it stressed me out immensely and made me feel like I’m incompetent. One day I realized it’s a common symptom of depression to feel like a decision is just too overwhelming, and I explained that to him. He’s been extremely patient, and intentionally understanding. Without his good intentions, we would have never gotten through so much in our relationship. I make sure I verbalize for him things to not to do as well as things TO do. The next important thing was being able to put my issues to the side and truly listen to him. Sometimes my depression makes him feel lonely and useless, and after a few hours discussing it a few nights ago, I’m really glad I was able to hear him out. Otherwise, he couldn’t of ever helped me today and yesterday. He seems like he’s just trying to hit the checklist sometimes, but that’s okay. We’re not a normal couple and we accept that.

Yes, I can relate, I get manic or unable to normally function for periods of time. My partner is not going to understand. I run through my talks re. Emotion or Illness in my head first, editing them down. I just want to get my point across, without opening up too many options for other subjects, like bringing up the past, and I enjoy having his ideas, because he is not mentally ill. In a Lotta ways I'm glad he will never really understand me, I don't want him to have to go through this. Patience on both sides, and conversations can become volatile, so have a quiet retreat prepared, if you need it. When things are casual and calm you can gently introduce your partner to your 'chill' spot. Then they won't worry when you need to be alone, ya, Patience is big.