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TanyaYu

653d

Please, I need you advice. I have so much anxiety about my future because I don't drive. Let me explain. I moved to the US with my husband a few years ago from a country with very well developed public transportation system, but I do know how to drive. I was shocked and disappointed how car dependent living in the US is. The problem is I HATE driving. So far my husband drives me everywhere. But how long it will be sustainable for us? What if we start a family? It's a lot of pressure on him and lack of independence for me. I'm afraid that eventually I'll be forced to drive, to do somethinng I really hate to make our lives easier. I can't accept that driving is essential for survival and that I don't another option. I feel so helpless!

Top reply
    • aevyn

      653d

      I'm going to give you some tough advice: necessity is the mother of invention. What I mean is, at some point the necessity of driving will become so great that you will be forced to come to terms with it. I got my license when I was 17, and for the first five years I refused to drive. I relied on my parents and siblings for transportation. Then, this summer, I had to go to an important doctor's appointment and my parents couldn't take me. I asked my brother and he refused, saying that I needed to grow up. I couldn't miss the appointment, so I drove. It was terrifying and awful, but I was so proud of myself after. Since then I have forced myself to drive more and have become more comfortable (although I still don't enjoy it).

    • Katharina

      652d

      Could you find trusted friends and neighbors to make a plan and give call yo when you need them? Or even hire someone who would be willing to e on stand by? If the bottom line is not to drive or minimally, some creative thought may be the way to go! 💕

    • Heaven197987

      652d

      I got my license at 38, I was terrified to drive but I wanted to be able to be independent more so I started slow sat behind the wheel until the panic was tolerable then short drives until I felt ready to get on a bigger road. I may be able to drive on the highway but I still get nervous

    • Madisenpai

      653d

      I'm in the same boat. I'm 22, got my permit at 18, have barely driven at all and don't fully know how, just have a general idea. I was always terrified of driving a two ton death machine 70 mph down a highway (in my mind). Then, when I was walking around my tiny neighborhood dissociating (in a good way) and contemplating life and wanting to just be alone, I finally felt the push to drive for the first time. So I could be independent and go places and make my life so much easier. Don't drive until you're comfortable doing so, and maybe like someone else said you can find something you enjoy about it to think of instead. But unfortunately, unless you move somewhere where walking and biking are options, or carpooling with coworkers/friends, maybe a bus or something, you will have to drive in the US if you don't want to go completely broke on rideshares. I wish you the best of luck in whatever happens, and know you're not alone, and that yes, it does suck. ❤️

    • jjharkan

      653d

      I didn't want to drive at first. But after a while you get used to it. Don't focus on getting mad at other drivers, simply remember that everyone else on the road is a lousy driver

      • Heaven197987

        652d

        @jjharkan exactly how i view drivers in my area I look at them like they like bumper cars

        • jjharkan

          652d

          @Heaven197987 the out-of-state drivers are always the worst

    • A424

      653d

      I’m going through the same thing right now. I got my license years ago but I have crippling anxiety about driving and have never driven by myself. It’s my worst fear but I know I’ll need to do it and my mom gets so mad at me saying I’m lazy and don’t care about being independent. Just thinking about it makes me anxious bc of the danger aspect…I don’t trust my driving skills since i’ve barely practiced and made mistakes during my lessons and something could happen at any time. With other things, it’s okay if you make a mistake, but that doesn’t apply to driving. I think that’s what makes me so nervous about it. I also don’t have anyone to practice with and my mom has a new luxury car that I’m afraid of driving.

    • aevyn

      653d

      I'm going to give you some tough advice: necessity is the mother of invention. What I mean is, at some point the necessity of driving will become so great that you will be forced to come to terms with it. I got my license when I was 17, and for the first five years I refused to drive. I relied on my parents and siblings for transportation. Then, this summer, I had to go to an important doctor's appointment and my parents couldn't take me. I asked my brother and he refused, saying that I needed to grow up. I couldn't miss the appointment, so I drove. It was terrifying and awful, but I was so proud of myself after. Since then I have forced myself to drive more and have become more comfortable (although I still don't enjoy it).

      • Wesj75

        653d

        @aevyn that's good of you. Facing your fears. Congratulations

    • GingerSnapple

      653d

      Unfortunately, in the United States there are very little options for commuting. The busses are unreliable and lift services are expensive. You can carpool with coworkers and friends to avoid driving if you want to take the burden off your husband or bike while it's warm if you can. Or try to find something you like about driving. I was terrified of driving when I was learning, and I hated doing it until I started using it as a time to just jam out and listen to my favorite songs. I really do wish we had other options, but it might help to find something you could like about it and focus on that. For example: You'll be more independent. You'll have time to yourself. Your own space. You can go to all your favorite places whenever you want to. Something like that. Hope that helps!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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