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Livingasazebra

331d

Am I asexual? I have experienced what I know is definitely sexual attraction multiple times (countless) in my life. However when ppl my age talk about acc sex they enjoy it and crave it and talk really dirty about genitals but the thought of having to suck/bite/touch genitals makes me feel physically sick and disgusted. I want to be extremely intimate and I still can be sexually attracted to a person (very strongly) but acting in physical sex and having to do stuff around genitals makes me feel physically ill. I can be dirty and sexual but not the physical act of sex. To this day it disgusts me when ppl talk about physical sex or I see it on tv. Kissing I love, intimacy I love and I do experience sexual attraction strongly. Does this land me on the asexual spectrum?

Top reply
    • AnimalBoy

      329d

      @tigershark98 you're right that OP could be ace from these feelings but the only definition of asexual is not feeling sexual attraction. Some ace people do have a desire to have sex but cannot find anyone they have sexual attraction to and phrasing it that way could be confusing and exclusionary of a number of people's experiences.

    • tigershark98

      330d

      Yes, your experience absolutely fits under the category of Asexual. You do not desire to have sex with any other person, that is Asexual

      • AnimalBoy

        329d

        @tigershark98 you're right that OP could be ace from these feelings but the only definition of asexual is not feeling sexual attraction. Some ace people do have a desire to have sex but cannot find anyone they have sexual attraction to and phrasing it that way could be confusing and exclusionary of a number of people's experiences.

    • AnimalBoy

      330d

      @Livingasazebra like I said there are a ton of reasons, and not everyone really has one. I'm a firm believer that everything in human behavior has some kind of cause but I also believe that some people just won't or can't figure out what the cause is, and for some people that's fine and they go on just knowing what they experience but not why and can make that functional and comfortable. If you aren't one of those people who are comfortable with that though, I would recommend doing some exploration of your thoughts and feelings surrounding the topic as well as looking into the more nuanced ace spectrum labels and how/if any of your preexisting conditions have a connection with sex repulsion. I would suggest following up with any that do have a connection by asking others with the same condition(s) about their experiences and seeing if anything connects with your experiences.

    • ZeroMelody

      331d

      It might be helpful to you to look into some of the acespec's more nuanced labels. I am "asexual" because that's a term people (somewhat) understand, but I actually identify as anegosexual - I experience sexual arousal from viewing/imagining other people having sex, but the idea of me myself actually being physically intimate with somebody else is a major turn off. Possibly related to / complicated by gender dysphoria and systemic fragmentation. It's still not a perfect label for me, but for now it feels pretty damn comfy, so I'm using it. Also, just remember that (as has been said by Mcmeadow) sexuality is a spectrum, which is also true of an individual's experience of sexuality over time: you may find that a term you have previously identified with doesn't feel right anymore, or that your sexuality completely changes. This doesn't mean that you were "faking it" or "wrong" before, just that things have changed now. It's kind of like fashion, in that sense. You wear whatever (label/term that) is most comfortable and expresses you the most accurately at the time, and as you grow and develop, you may find that it changes. Doesn't mean it was "just a phase", just that it was real and true at that point of your life, and may not be at another point. Hope this is helpful in some way. Best of luck, and remember: regardless of how you define your sexuality, if you don't want to do a particular sexual thing, you do not have to.

    • AnimalBoy

      331d

      It sounds more like genital repulsion, which is most common with people who have issues with germs, sensory issues, serveral types of OCD, and frequently PTSD from SA or other genital related trauma. But it can effect anyone for a number of reasons, including asexuality which is a spectrum and if it feels right you could be an ace label somewhere between full ace and full allo, being trans can cause that through dysphoria, also being gay or bi with a genital preference can do that, as well as just having an issue with the sexual partners you've chosen which can change. I've definitely been repulsed by specific people based on minor differences I didn't like about them mixed with bad or subpar sexual experiences and that effected how I viewed my identity for awhile.

      • ThunderBeetle

        331d

        @AnimalBoy I agree. Sounds like you are just sex repulsed.

        • Livingasazebra

          331d

          @ThunderBeetle I have no reason to be though

    • Mcmeadow

      331d

      I think the most important thing to remember is that, like most things, sexuality is a spectrum. You could for sure consider yourself on the spectrum of asexuality if that's what you feel most comfortable with and if that's what you would like to label yourself. It the label fits, wear it. ❤️ But if you so choose you can also just not have a label for the way you feel and just go with the "that's just how I am" attitude. It's up to the individual, everyone is different. 🤗

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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