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Sonyiamarie

610d

I am new here. I'm 33 and just got out of my first ever mental hospital a couple days ago. I had a psychosis episode and it was horrible. I was in there for 6 days and I'm thankful that I went and I'm thankful that they got me on the right medications. I was taking off my mood stabilizer and never put back on a new one. I think that this is one of the reasons that my break down happened. I scared my family and most of all I scared myself. When I was in there I knew I couldn't hurt myself. Now that I'm out I am scared that my brain is going to have another episode. I feel detached from everyone and have PTSD from the entire situation. I don't know how to readjust to being out. I felt safer there even though I did not want to be there and missed my family. I feel like a horrible person for being so ungrateful to have made it through this. The thought that I could be gone right now from something my brain did without my permission is terrifying. I just don't know how to come back from this.

Top reply
    • Sonyiamarie

      598d

      @Dosha Thank you so much that really helped! 🥰

    • wabe

      601d

      It's very common to come out of the hospital not feeling ready to get on with normal life. It was explained to me that, if you were in the hospital with a heart attack or surgery, no one would expect you to just jump right back in once you're home. You're still recovering. Give yourself the chance. It's definitely possible to end up back in again if you let yourself get overly stressed. I know some things can't be avoided. Kids, husband, work, school, all the usuals, but let people know you're home but not fully recovered yet. Be sure not to neglect your "me time" It's important.

    • Dosha

      604d

      I acknowledge what you're going through - it's tough stuff! I had my first psychotic episode when I was 24, hospitalized, and put on heavy antipsychotics that left me feeling drugged and like a zombie. Bleh! Fortunately, 12 years and many adventures later, I've learned that a key component of understanding and healing from these experiences is learning to actively change your brainwaves! This is what years of meditation can do, exercise can do, getting in 'the zone' with art or playing sports can do. The reason you/we feel so strange after these experiences is that our brain chemistry has been affected not just by the episode itself (what happened, what we did, what we experienced, which can be traumatic in itself), but by being put on medication that dramatically affects our brain's ability to self regulate its own brainwaves. Situations that used to be comforting and familiar suddenly feel radically different. We can feel confused (scrambled brainwave), in high alert fight-or-flight mode (Beta brainwave), or dreamy and disconnected (Theta brainwave). So what to do? Keep taking your medication, go to therapy and support group, and do inner child/shadow work to uncover the emotional triggers that can lead to episodes and 'weird' behavior. This behavior are the results of unconscious and subconscious programming we received growing up. There are many trained professionals, such as psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, coaches, empathic therapists, who can help you in this work. You will find the right fit! Further, to help you learn how to surf the brainwaves, check out YouTube for videos about brainwaves. YouTube also has music tracks that are tuned to specific frequencies to help you reach desired states. I suggest searching for 'brain entrainment' and 'healing Solfeggio frequencies,' for a start! Other modalities for changing your brain waves include yoga and meditation, but sometimes, we just don't feel like doing this at all - because our brainwaves are skittish or sluggish or weird! By actively re-training our brain to work with the environment around us, we can find confidence, peace, social acceptance, creativity, and our childhood sense of wonder again. I'm living proof of it! I believe in you and your journey, you are already on the path to wholeness! Namaste! 🙂🌈🐢

      • Sonyiamarie

        598d

        @Dosha Thank you so much that really helped! 🥰

      • LonelyInKC

        604d

        @Dosha 🙌🏽

    • lilkitten

      605d

      I know it's difficult 😥 I've been to psych ward more than one occasion unfortunately. & The hardest part is not realizing until this year ( after several years of needing help ) that medication is the only thing holding me together right now. For years I was fighting taking my meds cause I didn't understand that I really have to take them or I could have a relapse psychosis. But its more than medication, you have to all around work on your well-being & just do things that nourish your soul. Im so sorry you had to go through all that. I wish you the best. ❤️

    • shakie

      607d

      I've been in a similar situation. Since you are on efficient meds, psychosis is less likely. The mental hospital for me was like a brain "reset". I changed my negative thinking patterns and changed them to more positive ones. Find a therapist if you can. There are also support groups locally. Let me know if ya need some support🙃

      • Sonyiamarie

        605d

        @shakie Thank you. I joined a outpatient support group and I got a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a support group that meets once a week. I had my first meeting today and it felt great to be able to relate to people who are like me. It was for people who have bipolar. Most of them had come out of the hospital like me too. I was able to tell them about me not being able to adjust to normal life again and I have PTSD and they all were able to relate to me. It felt really good.

    • LonelyInKC

      607d

      I’m sorry you went through this. It can feel extremely confusing but I assure you there is a way out. You just have to literally take things one day at a time. Talk to a therapist if you can, find a support group, and try to take as good care as you can of yourself. One day at a time. You are not alone. 💜

      • Sonyiamarie

        606d

        @LonelyInKC Thank you so much. I signed up with an outpatient group and just had my first meeting with them. They're giving me a psychiatrist, a therapist, and group meetings so I feel less alone now and more hopeful.

        • LonelyInKC

          606d

          @Sonyiamarie Wonderful news. I pray you will find some incredible people that have had similar experiences to yours.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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