I was fucked up by ADHD medication but it took a lot of really stupid medical malpractice from my entire care team, including my own mother, as a child for an extended time. My mother couldn't be fucked to do anything in the way of actually helping me or understanding my ADHD, all the diagnosis was to her was a reason I wasnt doing the tasks she told me to correctly and all medication was to her was a way to get me to do more chores. The real reason I wasn't doing her tasks correctly for her was that she was giving me a list of 4 or 5 tasks at the minimum and half the instructions were usually inncorect from the beginning. I was on Adderall a long time, it made my disassociation a little worse and what inwas doing during dissociation episodes got a little weirder but for the most part was decent, I improved in multiple areas of my life and felt fantastic for once, until my mom started asking my doctor to increase the dose every time we saw her because I wasn't "following instructions" right. She never did a single life style change or therapy related thing to help me. After my dosage increased so much I started having issues with my appetite, although I was bulimic by this point so I foolishly considered it a win, as well as my sleeping schedule if I took my meds even a tiny but late. I had feelings of emptiness frequently and my energy took a bit of a dip. My mom kept complaining about how I wasn't following instructions. Eventually they switched me to Ritalin and did the same increase routine, by the time I was 15 I was on the max dosage with a smaller fast acting dose I had to take in the morning, bad enough for anyone but Ritalin is bad for people under 22 years old in general. The side effects were horrible, suicidal thoughts, no appetite, a constant weird buzzy/wired feeling that intermingled with constant fatigue, poor sleep even when I could get it, everything felt grey, and I was constantly nauseous or having stomach cramps. It also destroyed my ability to metabolize any kind of ADHD medication and made it significantly worse, they stopped working around the time I was at max dose and my symptoms were significantly worse than they were before i started taking them, I stopped taking them against my mother's shitty advice and realistically behind her back. After a few years as an adult i felt ready to try again but nothing I ever tried had any effect on me whatsoever, even Adderall which had been great for me in middle school was like taking a sugar pill and my therapist mentioned that Ritalin at a young age can have effects like that as well as a number of other issues including worsening symptoms. My friend who had also been on Ritalin at the same time as I was and had similar issues with it later sent me a few articles that confirmed that. The kicker is I'm my mother's second child with ADHD, she's since said a number of things that made it clear she hasn't handled his ADHD well either, including trying to shame me for still having symptoms by claiming my brother outgrew his ADHD. I lost what little respect I had left for that woman when I realized how much shit she put me through just because she couldn't bother to use Google or ask about a specialist and how much she ignored because she knew nothing about the medication she was force feeding me. This was all a bad experience and is most definitely a cautionary tale, but the main thing you should take away from it is that it was that bad entirely because I had absolutely no bodily autonomy or control over my own medication and the people who were in charge were severely misinformed or under informed and only had their best interests in mind. If I had been older I would have fought it, I did tried at the time but obviously that went nowhere because of my age. You're old enough to pay attention to side effects, decide whether a medication is right for you, communicate that to a doctor, and find a new doctor/specialist if your current one doesnt seem to be competent enough.