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Struggling with Dysphoria and Lack of Support from Family

nerd.of_all.things

641d

1st post, woo-hoo! 😅 I came out as non-binary a little over a year ago, and while my parents say they're supportive, they rarely ever use my name and pronouns (my mom does sometimes, when she thinks about it; my dad has only ever used my name and pronouns mockingly, on social media, or in front of a friend who doesn't know my dead name- but he doesn't bother trying in front of family, just me, or even my friends who have known me longer than I've been out). They say I can go talk to them for anything, but whenever I mention my dysphoria or wanting top surgery, I get blown off. And feel entirely alone. We just moved to the area and I don't have local friends yet to find support from. And all my other friends are 13+ hours away. ALSO! tangent here-- I'm REALLY curvy, which I hate. I'm trying to pass as more masculine at this point in my life, but the curves really bother me. anyone know of anything I can like, place there to make it look less curvy? kinda like how a binder helps hide your chest, but something to hide your curves? 😅😅 thanks in advance!

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Loss of weight

Gender Dysphoria

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Top reply
    • AnimalBoy

      634d

      @13perf keep in mind this is based in genetics, the body shape change may not happen if your male family members are also a similar body type. In my family we ALL have hourglass figures, even some of the little kids, so while I did have fat redistribution it didn't change anything about over all shape of my body. On another note binding shouldn't do that, is it possible that you've had chest atrophy from testosterone? It's a less common, or at least less noticeable in many, effect but significant atrophy can occur especially in cases with significant body fat redistribution.

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    • 13perf

      635d

      I naturally had a reallllyyyy dramatic pear body type and huge hips, but I’ve been on T for 5 years and now my shape is super masc. I recommend starting T. On T, if you lose or gain weight, your body will look more masculine. In addition, your fat cells redistribute. I also wore a binder everyday for almost 4 years and my chest is now pretty flat.

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      • AnimalBoy

        634d

        @13perf keep in mind this is based in genetics, the body shape change may not happen if your male family members are also a similar body type. In my family we ALL have hourglass figures, even some of the little kids, so while I did have fat redistribution it didn't change anything about over all shape of my body. On another note binding shouldn't do that, is it possible that you've had chest atrophy from testosterone? It's a less common, or at least less noticeable in many, effect but significant atrophy can occur especially in cases with significant body fat redistribution.

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        • AnimalBoy

          634d

          @AnimalBoy (I didn't see your comment on my post or remember that I wrote about that already so you can just ignore the first half of this reply and read my other reply to you instead)

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    • AnimalBoy

      641d

      They make shapewear for men that could work and long term wise T can change your body fat redistribution. I just found comfort in that "curvy" isn't really a gendered thing even if the general population wants it to be, it's just a body type based in genetics. EVERYONE in my family men, women, and children on both sides are obviously hourglass figured so it is quite literally inescapable for us. I personally would just stop responding to anything else, that's not your name and that's not your pronouns what reason do you have to answer to it? If you need support/to talk or have any questions about transition my messages are open!

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      • 13perf

        635d

        @AnimalBoy my family is super pear-shaped. I lost weight while on T and now I’m pretty much shaped like a stick, which I prefer.

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        • AnimalBoy

          634d

          @13perf all of my family's bones are shaped like this lol the reason it's based in genetics and I didnt mention weight is because sometimes it's based in genetics AND weight were you can achieve that body type through weight loss, which also gets easier on T, or it's based in genetics because of the way your bones are shaped, my wide hips are from my literal hip bones being wide and the other half of the hourglass comes from my ribs being ridiculously wide, at this point I have a very flat chest and I can see my ribs individually if I breathe in but they're still wider than my waist.

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    • El12345

      641d

      I have a big chest and find binders debilitatingly painful and some things that help me are layering, sports bras, big hoodies, and working out. Also maybe cut your hair short and grow out your body hair. And drink more water, it helps the veins in your hands and arms show up more and that can come across as more masculine. I can't help with pronouns, since I'm in the same boat and haven't found a solution, but have you tried changing your name to a variation of your deadname that sounds more masc or androgynous? Like I changed my name to Eliza since it sounds like Elijah, and I also go by El or Eli. Sometimes people are more likely to gender you correctly if they think you're a cis tomboy, like a Samantha who goes by Sam or an Alexandra who goes by Alex. In a lot of cases you can even just take your first initial and add J to the end, like AJ, CJ, LJ. And yeah they'll still be treating you effectively as a spicy cis girl which you're not but at least they'd be calling you what you want to be called.

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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