Struggling with Depression: My Thoughts on Suicide

TW:suicidal mentions I’ve noticed my depression getting worse, which is terrifying I never noticed it before, but the other day I was rewatching a show and in the late seasons a character commits suicide instead of fighting the big bad of the season, and my first few times watching it I thought that that was kinda stupid, cause if your gonna go out you might as well go out fighting, but watching today, I only thought about how I would’ve done that sooner. It kinda hit me right then how I’m doing. I’ve always been the positive “find the good, keep going, enjoy everything, romanticize living” kind of person (just for myself, i wouldn’t push that on anyone else) but today I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up again