lyashnx

93d

this is just kind of a mini rant i guess.
content warning: talk of consent (and lack thereof)




so ive been talking to this guy for about a month, maybe a little less. and right off the bat he told me he was a "safe person to say no to" and that he would never get upset or push if I ever said no. and like... I've just seen some contradictions. Like any time he's wanted to meet up I just havent been feeling up to it emotionally. Like I just didnt have the spoons. (and he springs these potential plans on me with like...a day's notice so I have no time to mentally prepare either) and ive had the conversation with him about like the spoon theory and how I'm just not gonna feel up to plans sometimes and he said he understood...but then he still pushes back every single time I try to say no to plans. and its frustrating but also...kinda rings some alarms bells. because his main justification is trying to push me out of my "comfort zone" like...as if he knows whats best for me. and I appreciate that he's trying to help, but he's just making things worse. and I very much do NOT feel safe saying no to him anymore.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • Keightyqueue

    93d

    I'm sorry, that sucks. If he's like that so early on... I feel like his disrespect of your boundaries would only get worse with time

  • Ashren

    93d

    I've had friends (also always men) try to push me into doing things I didn't want to. It doesn't matter how "small" it is imo. A no is a no and should be respected

  • Sincerely

    93d

    ......I know people think I have a nasty attitude, but it's for this exact reason that I do. People have always been too forceful with me, always trying to make me do what they want me to do. I have just as much rights to my life as they have to theirs. I don't tell people that my IQ is higher than theirs because that's going to just start a lot of drama. It's weird to me that not only do they think they have all the answers to their world, but to mine also! 🤨 How is that so?? Smh. The only thing I can say is if you don't feel comfortable in a situation, it might be for a reason. His pushiness might be masking some form of abuse.

    • lyashnx

      93d

      he has 100% already attempted to gaslight me a few times, although the first couple times he was joking, probably to see if I would notice and if he could get away with it. I just went ahead and bit the bullet and told him that I wasnt interested anymore and to start talking to other people.

      • Sincerely

        93d

        hey, I like your style. Why waste time when you already know, right? You have a rare and valuable spunk!

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