what is the best way to not feel overwhelmed in a workplace setting?

to make a long story short, I wrote bios of my fellow co-workers, and I had previously asked for a quote, but had not received one from one of them. so I tried to use and edit what she had already gave me to get a quote from her. however, apparently she didn't like what I had and in the email chain she sent she (as I interpreted it, passive-aggressivly) said that it was my fault and that I had her quote and sent in a new one. thankfully, my higherup was on my side and told me what she sent wasn't a quote, it was just a job description. but I still feel bad that this happened and I just don't feel great about letting a stupid mistake like that happen. she probably didn't mean to come off passive-aggressive, but I just don't like this whole situation and it feels like it's basically my fault.

what are some good ways to ease the mind in these types of situations. I tend to dwell on things too much and "not dwelling/thinking about it" can be hard to do. any help?


Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • Lunarr


    I think the thing that helps me the most in situations like that is reframing the way you think about it. You were doing your job properly, this coworker was not. She didn't follow the initial instructions and failed to send you a quote. That isn't your fault and you did the best you could with what you had. It is her fault for not getting a quote in in a timely manner and, quite honestly, too bad if she doesn't like what you put bc she didn't reply to you lol. Maybe there was some kind of technology error or failure that prevented her submission from reaching you. If so, that is still not your fault and she should not have accused you of anything but calmly asked whether or not you had recieved it What I'm saying is, the incompetance of others isn't your fault. I know your anxiety might try to tell you otherwise but other peoples actions are out of your control. You can't control if your coworker is irresponsible or how they react to your handling of their mistake, but you /can/ control how you think about it. It's okay to feel bad, she's upset, but from what you've shared she is the one who messed up here, not you In the future I would say don't be afraid to send follow up emails if you didn't previously! If someone, like your coworker here, doesn't get back to you within a few work days, send a very nicely worded "Hey! I wanted to check in with you about __. I need to know __ before next Wednesday" or whatever. Sometimes my anxiety tells me that is annoying or bothersome but it's not! You're doing your job and need that info to complete your task so follow ups are completely reasonable Hope some of this helped and that your workplace experience improves!

    • chirpfall


      thank you πŸ’•πŸ’•

  • BulletproofRose


    You probably won't like this advice... 😬 I spent 6 months dealing with this exact thing, only it wasn't just ONE little thing it was EVERY thing I did. And I also thought it was probably not intended to be passive aggressive and I was reading into it and things were actually my fault.... I was ready to quit my job. And I LOVE my job. The way I finally ended things, was sitting down and talking to the person, face-to-face (with a mediator because that person kinda scared me!). I came in with their emails printed and read them out loud. They admitted that the messages were pretty aggressive. I asked them be mindful of the way they are wording things and to just talk to me if something is wrong. They DID bring up something about "what so I have to walk on eggshells just because you're sensitive" πŸ™„ whatever. They stopped acting passive aggressive and we aren't friends but I don't have to feel like I'm being bullied or shamed. Anyway, I said you won't like this because if you're anything like me (and that anxiety tag tells me you probably are) you don't like confrontation. But the best advice I can give is to talk to her. Make it short, make it friendly, but be honest. "Hey I just wanted to make sure you aren't upset with me. Your email made it seem like you were angry and if you feel like I wronged you, I want to apologize." I've started doing this immediately whenever I get a harsh email or hear gossip. It was difficult to get confortable with, but after a few times I realized that I was just being a good communicator AND shutting down my anxiety about people being mad at me. Plus it makes me look very confident when I'm not!

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