susuwatari

4d

I feel like a mega failure.
I just had to defer an exam, I'm not coping well, I just lost a close family friend, he was like an uncle to me.
I tried so hard to keep up and still do exams, but I've admitted defeat and I'm so upset with myself for letting my depression get so bad the last months that this has taken me completely out. I miss him so much, and I'm so angry.

Depression

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  • susuwatari

    4d

    I was finally starting to feel better too ... I'm so sad.

    • KayLois

      4d

      I know it's easy to blame yourself! But when something so traumatic happens like a death, it takes a toll and effects you in many ways, trust me I know! Don't ever feel like a failure for your emotions or for doing things to help with current situations. The brain is the most powerful thing in the world, and depression takes that sometimes to tell you horrid things about the current situation. But right now you are doing the right thing as it wouldn't be beneficial for you to take them at this current moment. Trust in the process, you're doing amazing just by getting up and realising it all each day πŸ’•πŸ’•

      • susuwatari

        3d

        thank you soo this was really helpful, I appreciate it πŸ’•

  • SquishyBooba

    4d

    I feel this. I did so bad on my final exams last semester since I let my depression get so bad. I stopped attending classes, and never showed up for tests. I honestly beat myself up about it, but you only learn from your past and use it to motivate. You got this ❀

    • susuwatari

      3d

      thank you so much, this has motivated me a lot I just hope to mentally be able to make it through this ❀️

  • mysterious320

    4d

    Hey Sooooooo sorry for your loss!!!!!! you're not a failure!! Depression is a nasty thing and sometimes we think we have it handled and then bam something happens and we realise that we don't!! You need to look after you!! Exams can wait...... In the grand scheme of things you are more important!!! And I'm sure that if you hadn't deferred the exam and done bad it would have made the feeling much worse ( sorry if that sounds bad I mean that in a nice way, but can't think of a better way to write it) YOU MATTER!!!! Take care of you first I'm sure that's what your close family friend would have wanted you to do to look after you first?!?! ..... Grief is hard!! And you have to take time to process what has happened.... however that maybe I know when I lost my uncle the way I delt was I wrote him letters to work though my grief because I found it easier to write my feeling down as I couldn't process them in my head, I stored them away and when I was ready I read them... I then burnt them as a way to send them to my uncle in the afterlife (my personal belief) But know this your feelings are valid!!! Sending hugs and my thoughts are with you.... my messages are open if you need someone to talk to :)

    • susuwatari

      3d

      thank you so much!! I really needed to hear this, it was worded greatly! ❀️

  • Ashcookie

    4d

    You're not a failure we've all been there and when you lose someone it's hard and you lose your focus you're not alone everyone goes through this. You can always reach out to a school counselor to get help on it they'll help you with grief and going through hard times. I've felt angry too like it's my fault my grandma died but it's not and it's not your fault either. You are not your depression and it's something you can't control so don't feel bad about it because we can't change it. You can always message me if you need to talk I understand and I'm sorry for your loss but I promise you will get better with time πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ’•

    • susuwatari

      3d

      thank you so much, you're so sweet I appreciate it ❀️

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