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grantaire

668d

I feel so ashamed that I even have to ask this, but can anyone explain to me why self harm is so bad? I feel like the only reason people get so much more upset about it than other unhealthy coping mechanisms is because of how visually jarring it is. We harm our physical bodies to help our brain all the time, so why is this any different? It makes me feel so stupid and frustrated because I know that of course it's unhealthy and wrong, but I can't figure out the logic why. All the answers I've gotten are about control or the risk of serious damage but I can't apply them to myself bc I don't feel addicted to self harm, I only use it when I really really need to, and I'm very careful to make sure I don't die. Can anyone help?

Top reply
    • MindlessYo

      624d

      I agree with you. I can only amount it to a feeling of I deserve this. That overrules all. But yeah I started at a you g age and after 16 yrs of struggle. My mentality of self harm is the same as taboo practices around the world. Just as to be a circus freak is just that. It's perspective. Though I am ticking time from time to time. I'm still reasonable. Society has always shunned anything nuance and different. In the end I do believe my goal is to tap into enlightenment of some kind. My self harm has proven darkness. The ladder will be a new way of thinking. Self reflection and meditation.

    • MindlessYo

      624d

      I agree with you. I can only amount it to a feeling of I deserve this. That overrules all. But yeah I started at a you g age and after 16 yrs of struggle. My mentality of self harm is the same as taboo practices around the world. Just as to be a circus freak is just that. It's perspective. Though I am ticking time from time to time. I'm still reasonable. Society has always shunned anything nuance and different. In the end I do believe my goal is to tap into enlightenment of some kind. My self harm has proven darkness. The ladder will be a new way of thinking. Self reflection and meditation.

    • Jpenn552

      651d

      I used to have issues with my scars showing, but now the only reason I would is if there's a new one I don't want ppl knowing about.

    • andyiguess

      652d

      My therapist says that thr main reason self harm is a bad way to cope is because it hurts the people around you.

    • Sarah24

      668d

      I agree that it can get very very addictive and be less effective and you have to do it more and more and more which can get tricky. Unfortunately there is that large stigma of it being physically jarring or “unappealing” (🙃) but it is your body. The other thing I can thing of is with other destructive things like alcohol or drugs, you can measure doses of alcohol, you can take a certain amount of a certain drug and know the dose but with self harm it is very easy to go to deep accidentally, when I used to burn there would be seconds between a 2nd and 3rd degree burn, infection rates can be really high (which could be said for injection drugs and needles etc) and they can get infected even if you attend to them medically despite your best efforts (my mothers a nurse and they’d still get infected sometimes. Not that I tell her much but the bad ones I’d have to - better her than the er). I think that added risk of it being so easy to accidentally go to deep or burn too hot or hit yourself too hard and get a concussion or break a bone without meaning to is also an added reason for people to be upset. It’s also just more visible - if someone is an alcoholic or drug addict that night obviously it’s visible but you don’t always see it, people can be high functioning at work and you might not know at all but with scars you can’t always hide the scars - a hangover could be explained away better than a cut can, at least in my understanding having self harm as something that I struggle with. I’ve never struggled with drugs or alcohol but I’ve seen it, but I also know I know a lot less about it than I do self harm. None of what I say is meant to be judge mental or to say one is harder or better or worse or anything, this is just why I think some people may have the reaction you described I think. I’ve been stuck hiding behind clothes for 5 years and the few times I’ve had my arms or legs out it just makes interacting with people near impossible. Hopefully it gets better and the stigma lessens. We’re in this together

    • lyashnx

      668d

      I think of it like a gateway drug. I used to be the exact same way when I first started out. You'd think that one cut here and there isn't too bad..But over time, the feel-good calming chemicals that it releases become less and less effective. You start needing to do it more often and more at one time. That's the exact same way addiction works with drugs and alcohol. Your brain becomes conditioned and you end up needing more to get that desired feeling. It just turns into a slippery slope. I can't tell you not to do it. Im a recovered SH addict myself so I know saying "just dont do it" doesnt mean anything. Just be safe about it. Have a plan in place for if, god forbid, something bad was ever to happen. Keep your first aid kit stocked and always always always keep everything clean.

      • grantaire

        668d

        @lyashnx I totally understand what you're talking about. I've been self harming for around 5-6 years now, and when I started I definitely did experience the addiction you're talking about. At my worst I was cutting every few days, and it did decrease in effectiveness. However, for the past few years I've been at a place where I only cut once in a few months. I know if I do it I'll have to comfort my parents if they see, and be careful about hiding it, etc so I only do it when I've exhausted all other options and I have to get in a better place quickly so I don't do something worse. That's the thing, I don't know if I'm just lying to myself but I really feel like I'm past the point of addiction and desperation that I used to be in. I don't feel out of control anymore. Did you ever go through a point like that? Were your feelings then accurate?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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