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sleepyaries2

736d

hi there i think i really just need to vent. so i just moved out of my apartment on monday, leaving my 2 roommates behind. my 2 roommates used to be my best friends, one of them for 6 years. i moved out in a quick, impulsive way that i feel guilty for, but i was miserable in that apartment. they welcomed me & my ex boyfriend into their apartment last may when we moved back up to georgia from florida (only lived there for 4 months - NO, that relationship did not work out), so we technically lived there illegally. i was walked all over (literally, i lived in a mattress on the floor in the “dining room”, right across the living room), blatantly ignored, & just treated like shit. i had a coat closet for a closet; i slept on a mattress on the floor with one of my roommate’s dog hair all over it; i was right in view when you open the front door, & we had a pretty “open house”, so friends & boyfriends would walk in constantly & i had no privacy whatsoever; i had nowhere to unpack my things so they stayed in boxes since we had moved in. of course the amenities weren’t going to be perfect, but i paid $640 a month. my roommates and i paid the same amount. when they got beds, closets, decorations, a DOOR. my “friends” were constantly passive aggressive towards me, made petty comments, always had petty issues with me, when i swear i have been nothing but nice to these people. i didn’t have it in my bones to be rude. one of them hasn’t even talked to me for the past 2 weeks, besides an EXTREMELY petty & unnecessary text this morning. they welcomed me & my ex boyfriend into their apartment last may when we moved back up to georgia from florida (only lived there for 4 months - NO, that relationship did not work out), so we technically lived there illegally & of course the amenities weren’t going to be perfect. however, i am now paying $625 for a townhome with 2 of my very sweet friends and roommates, an actual bed, a nightstand, dresser, desk, bookshelf, a walk in closet, my own bathroom, a huge window that faces the sun, etc. etc. amazing things. it’s a much better living space for me & i can tell i will be much much happier and i have everything i need to thrive in this environment, but it’s at the cost of 2 people who have been my best friends for a long time. i haven’t lost friends, especially like this, in awhile. it’s hard.

Top reply
    • shamprock

      736d

      I know it doesn't take the sting out, but you made the right call. That environment sounds toxic. I'm happy you found a healthier place to live! I think it's harder to lose friends as adults. There's also the hurt from how you were treated. Sometimes we have to leave people behind in order to take care of ourselves. I know it hurts a lot. I'm glad you shared about it. I wish you the best!

    • RJT

      735d

      Please don’t take this the wrong way but it sounds like they had no respect towards you. Who sleeps on the floor and uses a hall way closet for a bedroom closet. That should have been told to you how the sleeping arrangements would be even before you moved in so you could have made that choice to on your own if you wanted to have that kind of atmosphere. I am happy you found a new place to live. I would not worry about your friend not talking to you. A true friend would not allow someone to live under those conditions

    • NerdyAlien

      736d

      I’m really proud of you for knowing that what you were in was wrong and for having the strength to walk out. I’m sorry that they treated you like that, no one deserves that. At least now you can be happy 😁

    • FutureNurse

      736d

      Hi. I kinda went through a similar situation. I moved in with my best friend in January 2021. We were so excited to live together. All the movie nights and shopping dates and getting drunk together on the weekends. Well those dreams quickly faded. She owned literally everything in the apartment. She owned the couch, tv, side tables, decorations, dining room table, cooking stuff. The only thing I really owned in the common areas was the chairs to the dining room table. She didn’t let me have any say on the decorations of the apartment or where things went. She started to get territorial over the common areas. I started retreating to my room. She stopped talking to me (for a very stupid reason in my opinion..) We went close to a month with no dialog. She was manipulative and just plain mean. We tried to work out our differences, but she just always had to have everything her way. I started feeling like the only place I could be in my apartment that I paid half for was my own room. I stopped eating except once a day when I knew she was at work, so I wouldn’t run into her in the kitchen. I was in bed 24/7 unless I was at work. It made me go into a very deep depression. In August, I became suicidal and ended up in the hospital. I immediately moved out and back into my parents house (which is an entirely different mental challenge), but I’m happier here. I took too long to get out of the situation. I’m proud of you for leaving when you did. I didn’t tell her I was moving out. I just did. She was my best friend before all this went down. It’s so sad looking back at our good times together, but I learned so much about her living together. I realized what a mean and manipulative person she truly is, and for that, I am better off not having her as a friend. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me because I know how hard it is..

    • Viking

      736d

      It takes so much courage to choose yourself!! I'm so proud of you for making a tough call and wish you success in your new environment! 🖤

    • maraisaglass

      736d

      Hey, first of all thank you for sharing and being vulnerable and expressing what's going on. It sounds really difficult and like you're grieving the loss of your two best friends, who even though didn't treat you in the way you deserve, were still clearly a big part of your life for several years. Feel free to dm me if you'd like to talk more about this with me! I'm curious, if you feel comfortable sharing, what do you feel like was the main thing that triggered you to move out of what sounds like a very toxic living situation? You mentioned that you had no privacy, your friends were passive aggressive towards you, and were being petty. I guess I'm asking what do you think was the last straw for you that made you think you needed a change?

    • ebl421

      736d

      👍

    • shamprock

      736d

      I know it doesn't take the sting out, but you made the right call. That environment sounds toxic. I'm happy you found a healthier place to live! I think it's harder to lose friends as adults. There's also the hurt from how you were treated. Sometimes we have to leave people behind in order to take care of ourselves. I know it hurts a lot. I'm glad you shared about it. I wish you the best!

    • sleepyaries2

      736d

      forgot to add that i didn’t even tell one of my roommates that i was moving out because i was too scared to talk to her. this is the one who sent the nasty text. which i deserved, but it was just childish. :/

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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