How did you survive an emotionally abusive relationship? I feel completely lost and alone. I’m finding out my family was the source of a lot of my issues. But I’ve always felt like I owed them my life. I don’t know what to do. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I’ve wasted my life. I’m angry at them, but also love them dearly. Awhile back, I said I wanted to move out (I’m 30), but my mom said she would disown me and my dad said he needed me. Now he is sick so everything has gotten so much worse. Please, if you can relate or have any advise, I need to hear it. This is all getting overwhelming.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My mother also instilled a sense that I owe her my life/autonomy and still tries to gas light me. The truth is you don't owe them anything, it's a parents' obligation to raise their child, it's not a child's obligation to put up with whatever they put you through, especially once you're past 18.
I know you love them but it's vital for your own autonomy and mental health to move out and set STRONG boundaries, especially with your mother. She may retaliate against them at first (like threatening to disown you) but if you hold fast and try and maintain open but STRUCTURED communication with her and your dad, she will likely come around. If you continue to let them drain you, you may reach a point where you can't support your dad even if you wanted to. You have to put yourself first!
You have NOT wasted your life!!! You are only 30!!! Even if you were 70, there is still time for you to live for yourself and find peace and happiness from your life. It's never too late for that.
I know this is all easier said than done and it all takes time. If you haven't already I would highly recommend looking into the writings of Kristin Neff around Mindful Self Compassion as well as the book Burnout by Amelia & Emily Nagoski.
Thank you, your response touched upon a lot of things going through my head and made me feel more understood. I really appreciate the book recommendations. I will definitely check them out.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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How did you survive an emotionally abusive relationship? I feel completely lost and alone. I’m finding out my family was the source of a lot of my issues. But I’ve always felt like I owed them my life. I don’t know what to do. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I’ve wasted my life. I’m angry at them, but also love them dearly. Awhile back, I said I wanted to move out (I’m 30), but my mom said she would disown me and my dad said he needed me. Now he is sick so everything has gotten so much worse. Please, if you can relate or have any advise, I need to hear it. This is all getting overwhelming.
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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision