In 2018 I had friends and now i don't. Having to start the convo every time and going as far as they need you to but them not doing the same. The worst part is not knowing whether it's them or me. Is it on them or did I cause this with my unstable emotions and inability to have stable relationships. It's part of the reason I don't have friends, I don't talk to anyone other than my immediate family. It sucks. I honestly don't know where to start with making friends. And part me is afraid to even try and the other part of me doesn't want to because of my disappointment in the way people tend to be. It's sad really.