I've been suicidal since middle school for so many different reasons, but one big one is change. Change is already scary without also being autistic and having an extra hard time acclimating. I've just graduated high school and now I've moved away from the only 2 friends I have. I don't have a job because the place we moved to requires a car to get anywhere and I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. I was already suicidal before because every waking moment feels awful due to severe depression and anxiety and so much other stuff, but adding all this change on top just makes me want to die so that I never have to deal with it. The only reason I'm not dead is because I've been so unsuccessful in the past that I know all I'll get is disappointment and that will just make me feel even worse.

Suicidal ideation

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