You are normal, everybody goes through some tough times, whether that's depression, anxiety, self-hurt or what have you. The painful thing of that though is it's different for everyone and if someone doesn't understand it they usually don't help too much. I get the alone part, my advice is to do things that either are new and exciting or a little nerve-racking as goals, once you start to do them things start to open up a little. Also, you are special! Don't let your negative thoughts drag you down, it may seem so dark and hopeless, but you are stronger than what brings you down and once that sunshine comes up you will blossom into that beautiful flower that you are! Stay strong and please love yourself, this world needs more amazing people!