I'm so sorry you're going through this. My suggestion is look into group therapy! Specifically DBT group therapy or the like. Or even just traditional individual therapy which I highly recommend first if you don't already have one. Check with your insurance or primary Dr to give you a referral. It gives a framework and schedule to implement and work on yourself. But no matter what you do, whatever you put in, is what you get. You put in positive effort? You'll eventually find positive progress. You Totally got this. Even posting this shows you have the courage to take another step towards bettering yourself