hey, i'm sorry it's been so painful for you. i'm right there with you, currently going through the same thing. i don't have a drug habit per se, but self-harm, excessive sleep, and self-isolation are my substitutes. they all are exacerbated by thoughts of the past. i'm glad you're still here and reaching out. you're not alone. whatever happens, keep fighting for your life—i'll be doing the same and cheering you on for it. you are better than your habits, you are worth more than your suicidal thoughts, and you deserve to heal and find peace with your past. i promise. reach out if you need someone to vent to. sending hugs ♡