how do i stop being so selfish? i feel like i put so much pressure on my bf by just being like the way i am. i’m emotional and it stresses him out. he’s never ever mean to me about it and he’s so helpful and understanding but ik it’s hard for him. i don’t act this way with other ppl the way i do him i guess. i’m so vulnerable w him so i’m just more emotional around him and idk how to stop. i’ve tried everything i can come up with on me own and i just don’t know anymore, sometimes i feel like it’ll never work out bc of me and i’m just not good for him. sometimes i want to just run away bc the only thing i can think to do now is push him away.

Bipolar Disorder

Generalized pain

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  • Appleicous


    Be grateful you even have a bf that listens and try to be resilient and figure things out on your own instead of making him miserable and bringing him down with you. If you don’t want him, then break up for his sake.

    • phaed


      i do want him. if i didn’t i wouldn’t have asked for advice.

    • Pisforpotato


      to say this was insensitive and cold is an understatement. If you don’t have anything helpful or encouraging, then stay silent. It sounds like you are projecting, and that is something you should work on within yourself, not force onto someone else. @phaed In regard to your situation, firstly, I can’t imagine exactly how you feel, but I have an Idea based on my own experiences with my, now, husband. I eventually wrote down everything i want to tell him and poured it all out. I told him that I felt I was too much and that he deserved someone that was normal and okay and not me. I told him I was scared because I’d never be what normal girls were and I was afraid he would eventually burn out on me. I explained that I was very trusting on him and that usually allowed me to feel safe enough to let my walls down, which could go good or bad. And lastly, I apologized for being who I was. He looked at me and said that he loved all sides of me and had no issues with helping me take care of myself. He didn’t look at me as a burden or a mess of a person, but rather, a person going through things that benefited from someone who cared. He was happy to be that for me. And I haven’t looked back. I promise, being open is a great place to start and go from there. If he’s as great as you’re saying, he’ll validate your feelings and you’ll still feel safe. 💙

      • phaed


        it’s obvious she’s just jealous and insecure, not sure why she’s here if she wants to act that way. thank you for the help though i’m definitely gonna try communicating more and i’m just glad he tried really hard to be understanding idk what i’d do without him

  • Charlie2


    I find what has worked best for me is sitting down with them and trying to explain how you feel and how his reaction or lack of one is affect you. Also allow him to talk to react

  • Reapunzel


    I've experienced this as well with my now husband too. It's so heartbreaking and the conflict between not knowing if it's better for them to leave or to keep loving them despite the pain is SOOO hard. My husband told me he would much rather love me and be loved by me than to leave no matter the trials. I literally wrote a poem to him. Lol. But seriously. Writing a letter or just writing it down helps you get your thoughts in order and also make sure you don't put your foot in your mouth which I'm prone to do.

  • Meliza


    I feel this way with my current and past boyfriend that now I warn them what they are getting themselves into before dating me. I learned that it hurts them more if you push them away. You may think you are doing them a favor by pushing they away but in all seriously it hurts you and them in the long run

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