rorose

230d

(this might not make sense.)
becoming more aware of my own actions my own words how i talk and what really engages me vs doesnt is a real hit. i should smoke more weed but its addictive and i dont wanna go down that path im watching this new show and writing about it really hurts to get disrespected like that.. i dont deserve to be disrespected. im tryna do something by the future. i hope this hard path im taking to a new goal in the future and changing and improving all things. he wants something i dont know tho. this is probably psychobabble but i want to be more social by the end of this year, or by this summer. thats what im betting on i should write down what goals i want to accomplish. what am i doing now to shape where ill be by the end of this year. what is it that i can do today that can shape a newer future. a less lonely and painful one. one thats more happy

i need something more chill. these are like my diary entries. and at one am i more chill. what am i doing here? what am i doing am i chill. i dont know what else to write. i dont know what to write or what to do. what am i doing here they are just standing there awkwardly and i dont want to be apart. im not being apart of them. its honestly better. now its just me and my old man and we not talking really. my sis and dad lowkey caused a scene because they werent seated immediately when they came into the restaurant. this lemonade is banging right now. its so good. i cant control the behaviors of others but i can control my own and i hope this day gets better and better because this morning it started out really good and i hope i get on some anti depressant medication that helps me make new moves. i hope im chill and comfortable. for a long time like sitting listening to my own music. or writing and being in my own world. i cant focus or control the behaviors of others i dont think they will associate others actions with my identity and i hope it doesnt. i just feel like this day is getting better i hope every day feels like a weekend and i hope we plan to do new things more and more often. were not talking. i ordered a blueberry muffin. my family is doing some extra hateful stuff its not cool. they are getting mad at

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Anorexia

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  • canoli

    229d

    You seem manic. Do you have a dr? I only say that because I've looked back at my texts from the past and they sound like yours. Only when I'm manic. You seem to be going through a lot and stress can trigger mania.

    • rorose

      229d

      i texted this throughout the day. think of it as diary entries 🤗

  • canoli

    229d

    Ok. I like that.

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