Sparkie

323d

In a way this is a rant... but when my partner and I first started dating, I knew that his mom would be difficult to be around and get along with. When we first met she was kind, but as time progressed I started hearing these things she was saying about me behind my back and snide comments to my face that were disguised. I was with my partner for about a year or two at this point. At that point in my life I was really struggling with depression and didn't know how to work with it. I was going to counseling for 6 years at that point trying to figure all this stuff out. She pulled me aside and she did a "check in" on me. Resulting in her making claims about me such as "You'll never be a good wife or mother with depression and anxiety." I've been thinking about this today, it's been about 5 years since she said that and it still eats at me. I can't get by what she said, even though I confronted her about it back then and she had said she didn't mean anything by it. I've wanted to be a mother for so long and she knew that, she knew that motherhood is something that I fantasize about almost every day. It seemed as if she had meant it to be purposeful. There's been many other comments made that have hurt me, and I do NOT get along with her.

Depression

Acute Anxiety

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Top reply
    • Reddest

      323d

      In many ways, depression will make you a better mother and wife. You'll have a higher degree of empathy when your partner and children come to you with depressed moods. You'll be more understanding of mental health days and kinder when they occur. You'll know so many coping strategies by then that when your children come to you with similar issues, you'll be able to actually help them and save them ten years of struggle and therapy (and if they still struggle and still need therapy after that, they'll still be ahead of those whose mothers told them to get over it or that it's all in their head.) Depression is hard. It's hard to be a good anything to anyone with depression. And you know what? Being a wife and mother is hard as hell already. You'll make mistakes, and depression will cause some of them. But you know what you'll never be? You'll never be as cruel as your partner's mother. As insensitive. As apathetic. You'll do just fine.

    • Mikalah

      323d

      🤗

    • DallasNicole32

      323d

      Listen.. it is literally impossible to not mean anything by saying you'll never be a good wife or mom with a condition that you have. That had a very clear meaning... That because as struggle you deal with she doesn't believe you're capable of being good at the two most important roles of a woman's life. She said this to hurt you. And it worked. And.. I am sorry that people exist that would do or say such things. I don't know you or anything but please don't allow what she said to burden you anymore because it isn't true. The terrible things people say about us are always false unless we allow them to be true... Mother in laws, right? Lol. Just kidding.

    • Reddest

      323d

      In many ways, depression will make you a better mother and wife. You'll have a higher degree of empathy when your partner and children come to you with depressed moods. You'll be more understanding of mental health days and kinder when they occur. You'll know so many coping strategies by then that when your children come to you with similar issues, you'll be able to actually help them and save them ten years of struggle and therapy (and if they still struggle and still need therapy after that, they'll still be ahead of those whose mothers told them to get over it or that it's all in their head.) Depression is hard. It's hard to be a good anything to anyone with depression. And you know what? Being a wife and mother is hard as hell already. You'll make mistakes, and depression will cause some of them. But you know what you'll never be? You'll never be as cruel as your partner's mother. As insensitive. As apathetic. You'll do just fine.

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