Struggling with Parenting During the Holidays

I'm spiraling again. this time pretty bad. my kids won't go to bed. they're screaming and yelling and hitting. I'm so depressed because of the holidays. Im so over it all. it's to the point I almost told my children Santa wasn't real. I stopped myself but now I hate myself even more for almost ruining everything. they're hardly getting gifts as it is. this year has been hell. car broke down and had to get a new one. it's extra money we don't have but we needed a car. my washer broke. we had to replace that. now our dryer broke. everything is going wrong. I just can't do this much longer.