My heart goes out to you man, I went through the same thing 10 years ago after a 27 year marriage. I know how devastating something like that can be. You need support, you need your friends and most of all you need to be there for yourself. I didn't think I had anything left to live for but let me tell you, 10 years later I'm stronger and happier than I've ever been. I won't lie, it won't be easy, but you're worth it. Your happiness and success in life is worth it. Seek help, get counseling and find friends you can talk to when you need to. Message me if you need to talk to someone who understands.