Depression likes to come up with reasons dieing would be a good idea. Mine has since I can remember, at least when I was 6 if not younger. It's always wrong. But like the death card in tarot I have found when those thoughts start coming again it means it's time for a change. You already made a good step in trying to get out of the toxic environment that was harming you. Now it's time to look at what other parts of your life need to "die" so you can open the door for something better. Right now I'm overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do to makes things better and I struggle with it feeling overwhelming and not worthwhile. But I know that just means I need help. So I contacted a therapist and am reaching out to someone who is better at thinking through problems and coming up with a plan of action than I am to help me prioritize and plan steps. You could probably benefit from finding someone who will listen compassionately at the bare minimum. But you sound like an extrovert who is suffering from lack of social interaction as well. Maybe if it's safe in your area see if there are any free lessons, or clubs, or coffee house poetry nights or whatever that you can get to and spend some time with other people, even if they are not close friends it would be a small step to feeling more connected and maybe making better friends.

Hey I'm willing to be friends, with you, I'm an empath, if you ever need to talk/rant

I relate a lot to all of this, unfortunately. Here for you