Feeling Lonely and Venting About Past Wishes

i woke up this morning. i feel uh kinda down cus even though my family is home uhh it feels lonely cus were so different and my mom has conflicting emotions when it comes to me talking to new people. i dont like it when she cries and i try to be there for her but it seems more like manipulation and i dont like it. plus her emotions change so easily so much. wish my life didnt turn out the way it did is what i wish alot. wish i wasa nicer person. wish i was a nicer friend. one that would last forever. i wish i wasnt so stuck up and rude. i find myself wishing this alot but its almost like its doing nothing cus i think of it so much. i dont like it. i dont like ranting so much either i dont like spending so much of my time making past wishes and dwelling in the past either. today me and my sister are gonna get back and feet massages. i should go take a shower but im too depressed to get up and do that. plus i have to shampoo my scalp but im too tired to do that. i want to talk to my sister but she wants to watch this show called salem. im not interested in it though. this is just a diary entry/ rant.